Without shadow, nothing
by Anae-chan
Summary: Having a mutual agreement is easy. But when light shines into the secrets hidden in darkness, even the shadows turn twisted, along with your thoughts, ideals, feelings and finally, your heart. Leon/Cloud.
1. Gather the broken

_Title__: Without shadow, nothing  
__Authors__: Anae and QttQ  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thank you, dear.)  
__Fandom__: Kingdom Hearts  
__(Characters originally from Final Fantasy VII&VIII.)  
__Characters/pairing__: Leon/Cloud  
__Rating__: overall M  
__Spoilers__: Not really?  
__Disclaimer__: As much as we'd love to claim both Leon and Cloud, they belong to Square Enix boys. Darn.  
__And the song used on this chapter, it's Breaking Benjamin's Into the nothing. We don't own it either.  
__Summary__: Having a mutual agreement is easy. __But when light shines into the secrets hidden in darkness, even the shadows turn twisted, along with your thoughts, ideals, feelings and finally, your heart.  
__A/N (Anae)__: Long time ago, in galaxy far far away... I got the idea of some scenes of this story, but they never saw light. Not before I told about it to QttQ and we talked for long time in the dead of night, new ideas popping up, and this is where it led us.  
__Here we offer you the first (kinda long, sorryy) chapter. Hope you enjoy!  
__A/N (QttQ)__: This was an idea, created during the dark, insane hours of the night, but it actually became something. I have to say, I'm proud of the two of us for coming this far. :'D  
__So, this chapter is an introduction of sorts, both to our boys and to the whole story. What can I say? I hope you enjoy!  
__Ps.__ Rewievs are love._

**Chapter 1: Gather the broken**

_All will be abandoned_

_None will shine_

_Gather the broken and leave this life_

_Lying in the earth_

_Side by side_

"You're hurt."

Young brown-haired man, dressed in white shirt, leather jacket and trousers of the same material got the exact answer he had been expecting. Simply a glare, nothing more, nothing less.

Leon's eyes moved across younger man's body, re-checking his injuries. They were pretty bad, even on his own scale, which was by no means for those who couldn't endure pain. There were serious scratches on blonde's arms, hands, practically all over the body, but the worst was his bleeding side.

The gunblader had actually seen the whole fight; blond had been paired up against some newcomer who wielded two swords. Both of the fighters had been reluctant to give up, so the fight had gone on and on, both inflicting more or less serious, nearly lethal, injuries. Leon wasn't poor fighter himself, but he still had been amazed how the blonde had moved so fast, wielding his huge sword with such ease.

As somewhat annoyed vivid blue eyes met steel grey, they were asking a question. That question was easy to be answered.

"I'm supposed to be your opponent tomorrow but in your current state, I'm not fighting you."

There was a flare in those beautiful, unnaturally blue eyes. It was a mixture of surprise, surprise that someone actually maybe cared, and more than that, anger. "Yes you are."

You couldn't help but admire how he managed to sound so convincing, even though his right hand was leaning on the wall for support.

"I'm not."

It was fight of wills, a fight that was fought without swords, without drawing blood at all. But it wasn't like it didn't matter, just the opposite. If you couldn't win a fight outside the ring, how could you beat someone there? Neither of them was giving up. Both of them had all the time in the world to do this, neither of them was in hurry.

But, Leon really did want those injuries to be tended. And, to tell the truth, he didn't trust the man - Cloud, if Leon recalled right - to take care of them himself.

"Let me tend your injuries and we're fighting tomorrow", brunet offered, closing their match, ending it as a draw.

Silence was his answer, and Cloud wasn't the man to break it. Instead of speaking, he pushed himself off the wall, standing on the empty corridor, looking at the older man. He closed his eyes for a moment, then with a soft rustle, a raven black, leathery wing shot out of Cloud's left shoulder blade. Being too surprised, Leon missed challenging, somehow sad, look in blue eyes, along with the sharp, pained hiss that escaped the blond's lips.

But he did not miss how they widened in shock, as he, after having stared a while, he closed the distance between them, took younger's hand and without letting it go, he led him forwards, through the narrow corridors, all the way to his room.

It was clear that neither of them was much of a talker, never had been. Both men preferred to keep their thoughts themselves, respecting each other. They had shared only a few words since they entered the room and Leon started patching Cloud up. It was when gunblader opened the drawer of his nightstand for hi-potion, but before he managed to use it, younger warrior gripped his wrist. "Don't use potions on me."

Leon wasn't the one to ask questions, and it was rare the curiosity got better of him. But this happened to be one of those times. "Why?"

"Just don't."

Brunet did notice that the man sitting on the bed before him was looking at the floor instead of him, but didn't comment it. Actually, he put the hi-potion back to the drawer and instead took out some bandages, disinfectant and white pills. He stood up, eyeing the blonde. "You can take those painkillers, if you want."

Blonde nodded in agreement, taking more than three of them.

"They're pretty strong."

Cloud shook his head, lifting his head to look at Leon. "It's alright, my system is…" Those beautiful blue eyes preferred the wall again to the man. "…pretty tough, so to say."

The only answer was a nod, and Leon didn't push either matter. Cloud was a grown-up man who had probably been through all kinds of things, including his deal with Hades, of which the key blade master Sora had released him of. So he could think for himself and take care of himself, and Leon was certain that the warrior didn't even want to be looked after.

So he moved himself, placing himself on his knees behind Cloud, and started to disinfect the wounds on his back.

It wasn't before Leon was treating the black wing before they talked. Leon wasn't sure how he was supposed to treat the wounded wing, neither did he know how much it would hurt. There was some dried blood, black blood, on the wing, and as he started to disinfect it, Cloud hissed in pain.

"Sorry", gunblader mumbled. He had practically disinfected and bandaged the worst wounds, and Cloud hadn't even twitched.

"It's fine", was the quiet answer. "Just… finish it."

Leon did as he was told, but he was soon caught off guard. "Why?"

Brunet's movements stopped as he heard the question. Cloud actually asked him a question, instead of staying silent? He was kind of taken aback. Maybe those painkillers had been more effective than Cloud had given them credit for. He did understand what the blonde was talking about; why had he offered, practically forced to, help? "You're in no shape to fight tomorrow, that's why. Or you could call it human decency."

Cloud barked a laughter. "I'm no human."

Leon stared the blonde's back, this time displeased not being able to see other's eyes. He would've like to known what the hell. "You are", he simply argued, other hand on Cloud's bare shoulder, other on his own lap, too worried to touch the hurting wing.

This time, his answer was shaky, bitter chuckle. "How many humans you know to have one black wing?"

"Being human isn't about whether you have wing or not", he argued. "It's about…" About what? Leon hadn't ever been good with words, he had never been able to find the right words at the time. And oh, if he didn't hate himself for it. This time was like that too. His half-way answer, which had just proven Cloud right instead of wrong, was hanging in the air. Leon's hand was still on younger man's shoulder, and he found himself giving it a gentle squeeze. He wasn't wrong, he just didn't know how to prove himself right. Just like back then…

It didn't bother Leon that Cloud was leaning on him now, bare back against his chest. Hell, brunette actually helped him on that one, moving his hand from shoulder to scarred chest.

The way Cloud was leaning on him, the way he reacted to a touch, a simple human contact… Just how long had it been when someone hadn't touched him just to kill him? Leon didn't know much about the man, but he did know that Cloud had had a deal with Hades. That deal had been based on only lies, what, he didn't know, but it still had been a deal that you couldn't just wave off. Sora had come and saved the poor blond, but how long had he been in Underworld, acting as Hades' puppet.

Somehow it all hurt Leon, it hurt Squall in him, in hurt because he had failed to protect everyone, it hurt because he remembered her and how she had been when they had first met, how much pain did that one character bear.

Without giving it much thought, Leon dropped his head on Cloud's shoulder, still holding him close, muttering: "You're human."

Cloud shifted a little, and pained blue eyes met the sympathetic grey ones. There was so much pain, physical and emotional, so long since the last time he had held someone this close, so much…

Their lips met, open-mouthed kiss that tasted of pained heart, lost changes and bitterness, it was so good. They were facing each other for first time since they had entered the room, Cloud straddling Leon's lap, Leon pulled the man even closer, both hands roaming, neither of them breaking the kiss, both of them wanting it all.

When they finally parted - due to the unfortunate lack of oxygen - silence fell upon the two men. Their eyes met in a wave of silent questions, blue and grey examining each other, weighing their options. They were strangers to one another, but they shared an understanding that didn't need verbal reassuring. Nothing about the situation felt wrong. On the contrary, it only felt natural.

Neither man pulled back when their lips met again. Immediately, their movements became hurried and hungry - the actions of two touch-deprived men, who'd just found an oasis in a desert of no physical contact. Leon wasn't letting Cloud go; his hands were planted firmly on the blond's thighs, keeping him right where he was. Not that Cloud would've been trying to leave. He was far too busy with leaning against Leon's chest, soaking up the warmth the brunette seemed to radiate.

In the end, it was Leon who took a far more gentle road. Cloud's attempts of bringing teeth into their kiss were denied as the gunblader's mouth moved to the blond's neck. Kisses and careful nips rained down onto the skin, but Leon was careful to avoid any of the wounds he'd recently treated. His mind was void of thoughts, except for one - the body in his arms had experienced so much pain - now it deserved some pleasure.

Leon was by no means an inexperienced lover, but it had been a while since he'd shared a bed with anyone. To be honest, it had been quite a while since he'd had the privilege to enjoy someone's touch. The way Cloud grasped his shoulders and tentatively shifted in his lap were better than any feeling he'd had in months - the sensation of intimacy and pure desire couldn't even be compared to the rush of winning a battle.

That was something Leon let Cloud know via the quiet sighs of appreciation that fell from the brunette's lips every now and then. They were both quiet by nature, but the sound of quickening breaths wasn't unnerving at all. Quite frankly, it only managed to fuel Leon's lust when he heard Cloud's breath hitch at an unusually rough nip to his shoulder. He also learned that a careful roll of his hips made Cloud stop breathing altogether, followed by a rush of air when Leon stroked the blond's stomach with his fingers.

He learned that coaxing a response out of Cloud wasn't too hard when you knew what buttons to push. With careful caresses, kisses and strokes, he made the blond rock in his lap, their lips desperately trying to stay locked in a breathless kiss. Cloud's hands had grown bolder and were resting on the buckle of Leon's belt, every brush of fingertips against the brunette's abdomen like a surge of fire. Leon, however, was being much more careful, avoiding each scratch on Cloud's body, concentrating on the patches of skin that were unwounded.

To Leon's surprise, Cloud pushed him away. His mind was fogged with desire, his thumbs drawing small circles onto Cloud's hips, and it took him a while to realize that their kiss had ended. Confused and even somewhat disappointed, Leon faced the blond eye to eye.

It was probably the most arousing sight he'd ever witnessed. Cloud was straddling him, the position forcing Leon to tilt his head up slightly. The blond's cheeks were tinted with a faint redness, the color revealing his desire. Clear blue eyes had turned into pools of stormy water and the lips Leon had kissed into need were parted with the blond's rapid breathing.

Leon couldn't have walked away if his life depended on it.

"Hold on."

Cloud surprised him even more by actually speaking. He'd taken the blond for a quiet individual, just like himself, but once he'd brought the man back to his room, Cloud had actually spoken up. In the back of Leon's head, a tiny voice reminded him of the huge dose of painkillers the blond had taken. Cloud didn't seem like a very talkative person, but now he was actually taking the initiative to speak. Perhaps the drugs were affecting him more than he even realized.

"What?"

These thoughts had no room in Leon's head. His fingers were already unbuttoning the blond's pants, eager to see everything of the man in his lap. Cloud, however, seemed to have other plans.

"Just wait."

"What is it?"

What if Cloud was having second thoughts? They were strangers, after all, with no emotional bonds. If he wanted to back out, then Leon had no right to demand anything else. And still, he didn't move his hands from where they were.

"Give me a minute, and I'll get rid of my-"

Cloud didn't finish his sentence - he didn't need to. The glance he threw over his shoulder at the magnificent, black wing was enough to tell Leon what he was thinking. The appendix looked sore, and judging by the way Cloud had reacted earlier when he'd treated it, it really was aching.

"You don't have to do that."

The look Leon got in return was nothing short of confused. Cloud didn't speak, didn't vocalize his thoughts, but the way he eyed the bed they were sitting on made pieces fall into place in Leon's head. It was a small bed - as simple as the rest of the room, really - and Cloud's wing was taking up a good amount of space as it was. That, and Leon had a feeling it wouldn't do the blond any good to apply any pressure on it, not if they didn't want to see more of the thick, black blood that had seeped out from between the feathers.

"Don't worry." Leon was quick to slide his hands to Cloud's lower back, pulling the blond closer yet. With their chests pressed together, his mouth found the man's ear, teeth tugging at the small piece of jewellery he found there. He sensed that Cloud was about to protest again, but it was easy to silence him with a few simple moves that left the blond with his pants around his thighs and a baffled look on his face.

Apparently, that convinced Cloud, because within minutes, Leon had managed to pull off the remains of his own clothes and was welcoming Cloud back into his lap. The heat of the blond's skin was like pure pleasure for him and Leon couldn't resist running his hands over everything he could reach. Even at this point, Cloud remained quiet, but his ragged, uneven gasps against Leon's lips were good enough for the gunblader.

It wasn't until the first oil-slicked finger slid into the blond, causing a great deal of tension, that Leon even considered questioning the other man about whether this was what he wanted. The way those strong hips moved to welcome the intrusion made his thoughts dissolve, however, because Cloud's fingers were in his hair and a hot mouth was on his neck, and nothing told Leon to stop.

To be honest, Leon was silently grateful for the wing that swayed behind Cloud's back, following every move the blond made. Perhaps it was just an excuse, but it allowed him to hold Cloud, to keep him as close as possible, even as he slid into the heat of the youngster's body. As the first experience of intimacy in a long time, it made Leon feel overwhelmed. The way Cloud moved, the quiver of his strong thighs as he pushed himself up, the grip of his hands on Leon's shoulders - those small details alone would've been enough to drive the gunblader mad with want. In addition to the way Cloud slid down each time, pulling Leon deeper, faster and demanding more with each breath, it all left the man utterly speechless.

It didn't matter, however. It didn't matter that the only thing he got was a quiet, strained, hoarse sound as Cloud tensed around him and left bruises on his shoulders as the blond found release. It didn't matter that Cloud remained silent and unmoving when Leon muffled a groan against the blond's skin and filled him. It didn't matter that Leon had nothing to say when he gently eased Cloud down onto the bed, refusing to take no for an answer as he fetched a soaked towel and wiped away the proof of their actions. It didn't matter, because neither one of them were a man of words - they still shared an understanding as they were overcome by sleep, laying side by side on the tiny bed.

But it did matter when morning arrived, and words were what Leon needed the most.


	2. Standing at the crossroads

_Disclaimer:__We still don't own Final Fantasy, so we don't own these boys, either. Which is still a shame. Neither do we own this song, Ozzy Osbourne's "I don't want to change the world".  
__Beta: Azrax (Thank you again! We could not live without you.)  
__A/N (Anae): Here we go, chapter number two. Waking up in the morning is never a piece of cake as everyone knows. (If Leon and Cloud didn't before, they surely do now.)  
__And hey, thanks for everyone who read this! And comments/reviews still are love, and we ain't giving up, so more is coming up! Hope you enjoy as much as we do when writing this!  
__A/N (QttQ): Here, have some frustrated Cloud and some stubborn Leon. Don't ask me how those two get along every now and then, I don't know.  
__Also, thankyou to those who read our first chapter! We're truly planning to keep writing and more is on the way, already. :  
__And great thankyous to my co-writer, of course. Girl, we will rock this fanfic. BD_

**Chapter II: Standing at the crossroads**

_Standing at the crossroads, world spinning round and round_

_Know which way I'm going, you can't bring me down_

_Don't you try and teach me no original sin_

_I don't need your pity for the shape I'm in_

Morning arrived, as bright and unforgiving as always. The rising sun hit Leon's eyes, forcing him to abandon his dreams and face the reality. Memories of the previous night came flooding back to the brunette, rising regret, curiosity and right out confusion in his mind. A clenching knot formed in his chest as he slowly opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

How would things turn out from now on? Should he just lay here and wait for Cloud to wake up? Did he have the right to drape his arm around the blond and wake him? Did he want to? The previous night had been unplanned - how had they even ended up together? They'd both needed it on some level, but how come they'd sought comfort in each other's arms?

It was the mutual understanding, Leon decided. Cloud was as much of a fighter as he was, having experienced the harsh battles that occurred at the Coliseum. They knew what life was like around here, when you only had your own shadow as company. Leon had a feeling that the wing on Cloud's back had made the blond pull away from all kinds of social situations. How the man had ended up here, he didn't know, but he had a feeling it had nothing to do with having friends in the neighbourhood.

Sighing quietly, Leon decided to arouse Cloud from his sleep. He couldn't remain in bed, not when he had several fights scheduled for the day, not the least one with Cloud, himself. Finally focusing his eyes and abandoning the cracks on the stone ceiling, Leon turned his head, ready to face whatever thoughts the situation would awaken in Cloud's messy, blond head.

Cloud wasn't there.

A sweep of his palm over the wrinkled sheets told him that the bed was cold - Cloud had been gone for some time, now. His clothes were gone, as well; all of the articles on the floor were Leon's. Cloud had disappeared, left without a trace. All that remained of him were the bloodstained bandages Leon found in the bathroom, neatly folded and somewhat moist - as if Cloud would've tried to wash the blood out.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Cloud hadn't wanted to be there when Leon woke up. In the end, that wasn't too surprising - the previous night had been a spur of the moment, an unplanned event. Who was Leon to assume that Cloud would've wanted it to be something more? The gunblader definitely didn't; he had enough to worry about, as it was. A relationship would just have added to his baggage.

He couldn't, however, forget about what had occurred, nor push it aside. Leon had a feeling Cloud wouldn't want to discuss the situation they were in, but the brunette wasn't sure he'd manage to act around the blond fighter like nothing happened. The memory of their shared night was too fresh in his mind, the love bites on his skin too tender, the taste of a pair of foreign lips too vivid. Even once Leon had showered and dressed himself for the day's battles, he was sure he could still detect Cloud's scent lingering on himself.

Before long, the gunblader was forced to push the thoughts of Cloud into the back of his mind. He had several fights to survive and his opponents weren't weak. And yet, no matter how much Leon tried to focus on the fierce men and women he faced in the ring, he seemed to go through every fight in a haze. His thoughts would wander, his eyes would slip towards the audience instead, looking for that pair of impossibly bright, blue eyes. Before he knew it, he'd gone through a handful of battles absent-mindedly, but with definite victory.

It all led up to the moment Leon both dreaded and anticipated. He'd climbed his way to the top of the list again - it was time to meet the day's other conqueror. When the gunblader stepped into the ring, dirt and sweat staining his clothes, a few scrapes stinging here and there, he was by no means surprised to see Cloud waiting, that enormous sword hoisted up onto his shoulder.

He looked terrible.

The bruises and wounds from the previous day had turned a nasty purple instead of blue, looking almost inflamed. There were some fresh ones among the cuts that marred Cloud's skin, there was blood smeared over his arms and the fabric of his clothes. It didn't match the stains on his blade, however - the monstrous sword had clearly bathed in blood, and Leon had a feeling some of the blond's opponents might not have made it out from the arena. For a moment, the icy stare he was met with awoke fear in Leon's chest.

The feeling quickly turned into something softer as the gunblader approached his opponent. Cloud stood straight and strong, unmoving, like a gorgeous, wounded statue, but the closer Leon got, the weaker the man seemed. His legs quivered, even if it was almost unnoticeable, his lips were parched and white, even if they were pressed into a firm line.

Cloud was exhausted.

"I'm not fighting you."

It was pure déjà vu. Leon was refusing to fight Cloud. _Again_.

Cloud was furious. _Again_.

"Yes, you are."

"You're more hurt than yesterday."

The real battle wasn't fought in words, but in their gazes. Neitherlooked away, but stood their ground, practically glaring at each other. They had both made up their minds, and neither was giving in, because giving in meant losing. They had their own game now, one that didn't have to involve blades or fists. It was a battle of wills and they were both determined to win.

Cloud was the first one to make a move. On some level, Leon had expected it, but the blow of the buster sword against his gunblade still left his arms quivering with exertion. The brunette took a stop back and threw Cloud off, managing to bring some space between him and the blond fighter. Within seconds, Cloud was back, this time with a **series** of furious, slicing movements. Leon dodged, countered and blocked each try, and merely kept drawing further and further away, dancing in a circle on the arena. Clouds of dirt rose from the ground as they moved, Cloud's blue eyes burning with an intense flame, a visible craving that Leon refused to fulfill.

"Coward." The blond finally spat, throwing his sword into a lethal swing Leon barely dodged. The gunblade hadn't been as much as pointed towards Cloud - the brunette had merely kept the fighter from hurting him. Cloud's voice was a venomous hiss between his labored breaths. "Fight like a man."

"I'm not fighting you." Leon was simply repeating his statement, not having anything else to say. He didn't need to explain himself. He didn't need to explain the confusion the previous night had left into his mind, the confusion that should've been crystal clear, simple and clean.

The snarl Cloud let out at Leon's words was nothing short of feral, and the way he attacked the brunette really made Leon work for his life. The gunblader could already feel the sharp blade digging into the soft flesh of his shoulder when he managed to push Cloud off. The strength in his movements sent Cloud sliding across the arena, but the blond never fell. He simply crouched down like any hunter, gaze trained on his prey, his eyes narrow and sharp - a caged wolf's eyes, ready to break free.

Leon was panting heavily, adrenaline pumping in his veins. His instincts told him to fight back, to defend himself with attacks, but he fought the burning demands. Lowering his weapon, he let his guard drop, presenting his figure to Cloud. He was vulnerable now - he had no urge to fight.

"I won't do it, Cloud." The brunette called. Cloud didn't move, but remained in his crouched position, fury painted into his look. "I'm not fighting you when you're in that condition." To Leon's surprise, the response was immediate.

Cloud straightened himself, the buster sword dragging in the dirt before he swung the enormous weapon onto his shoulder. In one, smooth turn, Cloud presented his back to Leon. The blond spat onto the ground, leaving a blood stain in the sand, and Leon didn't know whether it was meant for him or just a way for Cloud to be able to speak.

"Stop pitying me."

The blond's voice was quiet, but his voice was firm, nothing short of demanding. It took a while for Leon to make out the words, and even longer for the message to sink in, but it only managed to strengthen his confusion.

Pity?

"You're hurt." Not only was Cloud covered in both slowly healing and fresh wounds, there was a way to his movements that told Leon that he was aching in more ways than one. Had Cloud not been sore due to their shared night, Leon might not have been able to defend himself from the inhumanly strong blows as well as he had. "The match would be unfair."

"I told you to stop pitying me."

That silenced Leon. He had nothing to say, nothing to throw back at Cloud. He'd made up his mind about not fighting the blond while he was in his current condition. Once Cloud healed, he'd gladly meet the fighter in the ring, even if such a thought made Leon slightly nervous now that he'd witnessed the man's battle skills first hand. Now, however, that meeting would have to wait.

"So that was what last night was all about."

Leon's eyes focused back on Cloud's figure - a figure that was slowly disappearing into the shadows of the Coliseum walls. Suddenly, ice ran through the gunbladers veins as Cloud threw one last glance over his shoulder before vanishing into one of the stone hallways.

The blue eyes were blank.

"Pity."


	3. Feeding the sickness

_Disclaimer:__ Despite everything we've done, Square Enix and Disney refuse to give us the ownership of the characters. We don't own it, neither do we own the lyrics of Breaking Benjamin's "Unknown Soldier".  
__Beta: Azrax (Thousand thank yous.)  
__A/N (Anae): Chapter three. Already. o_O Firstly, thank you for everyone who's read the previous chapter/chapters! And if you're reading this, be sure to drop a note to tell us how we're doing!  
__About the chapter itself... I feel sorry for Phil, that's all I have to say. ^^'  
__A/N (QttQ): Chapter three, oh dear! The credits for this little baby go completely to Anae - she did a great job with the boys, didn't she? c ;  
__Some more tension in this part. But well, well, maybe there's hope for Leon and Cloud, after all.  
__. . . Or maybe not.  
__Keep reading and you'll find out. : _

**Chapter III: Feeding the sickness**

_Count me in, violent  
Let's begin, feeding the sickness_

It took more than a few days for Phil to lose it. As a matter of fact, it took him _two weeks._ Two fucking weeks had he watched both Leonhart and Strife being on the edge, winning every single match of theirs, not to mention refusing to fight each other in the circle. Two weeks had he watched both men coming not only from matches but also from sparring sessions as frustrated as they had been, if not more so, when they started. And, on the top of that, every poor bastard who had fought them, no matter where, had come out too injured to enter the ring for at least six days.

And oh, if that didn't make miracles for the time schedule, which happened to be pretty tight. One participant down, rearranging matches for those still able to stand, every goddamn day… It had been getting on Phil's nerves but at first, he kept his mouth shut. Everyone had a bad day now and then, and at that time, you needed to get it out of your system or you'd drop dead yourself.

But bad days were not supposed to last over a week. So the goat mentioned about it, first to Leonhart, since he was the more talkative one of the two. That was mockery itself; anyone was more outgoing than the silent gunblader, it was easier to get response out of anyone but him. Except Strife. So Phil mentioned it, first kindly, then less kindly, then raising his voice and in the end, yelling his lungs out. First to gunblader, then to the other warrior.

But oh no, they were two stubborn, lone mules. They even dared to claim that everything was fine, that nothing was wrong. Phil did have his eyes still on, he was not blind and even he could count one plus one, thank you very much.

So, after two weeks, he had had enough of it all. So he used all of his wordplays and tricks to get Leon into one of the training rooms; big circle, one huge door on the west and one on the east side. It would be impossible to break the material they had been made of. Even for the best Colisseum fighters.

Once he had Leonhart where he wanted him, Phil used the same tricks on Cloud, still ending up practically dragging him along, and thus managing to force the two men into the same room.

As they noticed they had been fooled by the goat, both sent glares, threatening enough to make even Hades back off, but at this point, Phil didn't bother to care. Hell, those two could be the best fighters in and outside the circle and he might be just a small, little over-weighted goat, but when enough pissed, he could be as bitchy as he liked. Before either of the warriors opened their mouth, which would've been the first time aside schedules Phil speaking to them, the goat opened his own mouth.

"I've been watching you tearing every single participant _and_ sparring partner apart for two fucking weeks! And when I ask you to get it over with, no, you won't. Now you stay here until you do! I don't care what you do. Talk, hit each other, spar, fuck, anything! Just get that out of your system on _each other _instead of innocent people!"

With that, Phil marched out, closing the huge door behind him. He would leave the two alone for a while, then come back and see if any progress has been made. If not, they'd spend long time there. Days, if it came to that. It didn't matter to Phil; he did have time.

After Phil had gone off, Leon sighed. Yes, he had been quite on the edge for last weeks, ever since he had had that… Thing with Cloud. Ever since he had fucked the blonde and refused to fight him in the circle. They hadn't talked since, barely even seen each other, and both of them had been taking their frustration out on innocent sparring partners. Both of them had tried to get it all out of their system by doing the only thing they knew; sparring, fighting for their lives. But it hadn't helped, just the opposite. It had brought them from frustration to a point of explosion.

The gunblader eyed the other, who was trying to open the door. But it was to no avail, the huge gate stayed closed, its dark shadow looming over them. "Looks like were stuck here", he heard Cloud mumble.

Leon pushed himself off the stone wall to his feet. The two warriors weren't that far apart, but there was enough distance to make them feel comfortable. Which, when it came to them, meant more than a few feet. "Then I suggest we talk", Leon said, eyes never leaving the blonde's figure. He felt strangely calm, even though he disliked the situation. He didn't really want to talk, he would've been satisfied just to walk away, but this, whatever it was, had to be dealt with. He was Leon now, he would look his responsibilities in the eye instead of running away like Squall would've done.

Cloud didn't turn to meet him; he didn't even move his gaze from the huge obstacle blocking the way out of the situation. "There is nothing to talk about."

"Really?"

"Really."

The gunblader had been a fighter all his life. Even if he was horrible at talking and reading people's words and faces, it wasn't hard for him to read their body language. Movements were his only way to get to people's minds, and luckily, Cloud's movements, as controlled as they were, were warrior's moves. Something that was like a second nature to Leon. "Funny, since that's not the way you act", he answered, voice dripping more irritation than he had intended.

Now those unnaturally blue eyes shot at him. He still didn't move, but his posture was rigid. Leon could see the frustration radiating off the warrior. "Leonhart, if you got something to say, spit it out." Before Leon could even think about answering, the younger added: "And don't you apologize."

Apologising had been on the top of gunblader's to-do-list, ever since he had seen Cloud on the next morning. Had he regretted? Sure. But going back in time, Leon wasn't sure if he'd **be** able to act any differently. And if something, that frustrated him, to a deal he didn't want to think. Slowly closing their distance, he tried to get a grip of Cloud's thoughts. "You were in pain, for fuck's sake. And I…"

"So what?"

Leon stared at the eyes that deflected clear, stormy night sky more than those pained sky blue eyes he had seen two weeks back. Cloud's inability, no, unwillingness, to see his point, was driving him nuts. The gunblader had always avoided interacting with people, he preferred loneliness and silence, but even worse he was at saying sorry. That one word was so goddamn hard to say, and now it meant nothing? "What do you mean so what?" Leon had taken enough steps; he was quite close to the younger warrior right, now more irritated and frustrated than he could recall being in a long, long time. "You were practically high and…"

"So what?" Cloud interrupted again. The blonde hadn't moved an inch before, but now he was slowly but surely closing the distance between them. Closing his eyes for a moment, that dark leather wing shot out of his left shoulder blade, making the other step back by instinct. The way Cloud moved, the look in his eyes… It was nothing like that broken being Leon had held. It wasn't until now that the brunette really realized that this man really was dangerous. "What makes you think I didn't want it?"

Leon refused to back down more, they were close enough to a wall already. The gunblader was ashamed enough to be intimidated by that wing, which was nothing more than an unwanted appendix. So he held his ground, met those eyes and kept his mouth shut. When the brunette was face to face witha youngster some years his junior, Cloud continued. "What makes you think that the likes of you could do something to me I didn't want to?"

Without a warning, Leon found himself turned around and shoved roughly to the wall, eyes facing the tiles. The gunblader tried to turn around, to ask what in Hyne's name Cloud thought was doing, but the blonde was too strong. Leon swore inside of his head. If there'd been any kind of warning, if he had just expected something like that, he wouldn't have ended up like this. But he hadn't. He hadn't dropped his guard down, not totally, he never did, but that little had been enough, it seemed. And the blonde had been so fast. How could a human be that fast?

Cloud's voice brought Leon back to his crappy situation. "We both wanted it and you know it", he spat, voice giving away more emotions that it was used to. Momentarily, Leon felt that same ache he had felt for this man before. But that didn't last long; his attention rapidly passed to a hand moving from his backside to his front side, slipping under the white shirt.

Just the touch threw Leon's body on the fire it remembered, and he bit his lip. No way he was letting Cloud know how easily the blond could affect him. "We both enjoyed ourselves, didn't we?" he heard the warrior saying, but his attention was elsewhere. As Cloud spoke, his hand played on the buckle belt. The gesture gave quite much away, and the gunblader wasn't sure if he should've been scared of thrilled.

"Wait-" he managed before the hand had opened the belt and slipped under the leather trousers. When it ghosted over the sensitive flesh, Leon gasped and bit his lip. When he had ended up in this world, this was something he never would've expected. To be molested in a Colisseum training room by another man. It probably would've been humiliating if it'd been someone else than Cloud. But since it was Cloud, stroking and circling him, knowing exactly which buttons to push, leaving the other man panting, gasping for air, it didn't matter.

If that wasn't enough, Cloud leaned closer, licking and biting his earlobe, whispering huskily: "You know, I might even let you fuck me again."

Leon moaned quietly in return, his body shaking.

But Cloud had his way. Without giving the other man release, he let him go and pulled backwards. This left Leon's already foggy mind in even more confusion. But despite the state his body was, he managed to turn around, leaning his back to wall for support. And waited for an explanation as he scowled the other's back, cheeks a little flushed, slightly panting. Normally Leon would've demanded an answer but this time… he didn't trust his voice quite enough. So his reaction was a scowl and grunt.

The warrior didn't turn, just gazed the other over his shoulder. "If you want there to be other time, don't you dare pity me."

It didn't take long for Leon to recall what the other was referring to. The morning after their coupling, Cloud had mentioned something like that on the circle. For some reason he thought that Leon had slept with him just because of pity. "I didn't pity you", he answered, sounding as convincing as he possible could in his current state, mind whirling and body screaming for release.

The younger of the two snorted, eyeing his elder. "Then what was it?"

Once again, Leon found no words. He didn't know why he had slept with Cloud. Before this, he hadn't even thought about it. He had felt for the poor youngster who thought himself as something less than human. His heart had ached. But still, that was no excuse to fuck someone you wanted to patch up. It hadn't been pity. It couldn't have been. But still, he had no answer at all.

"Thought so", was the only answer given to him. Leon looked at the figure. He was facing Cloud's back. The warrior hadn't even looked at him when he had spoken, he hadn't been able to see the depths of those blue oceans. Yet, he could read to man, to some degree. Cloud posture was rigid and so controlled, that Leon nearly could see the wall youngster had build up in order to shut the world out. Or to shut himself from the world.

When Phil came, he let both men out. The goat was ridiculously happy about their 'truce' as he himself put it. What had happened made Leon wonder, and not just one thing. Cloud's raw power and speed, they seemed to be something out of the ordinary. The man who possessed such attributes, why would he let himself be taken by someone? Leon sighed. There was other question besides those. Did Cloud want there to be another time, like he had implied? More than that… did Leon himself want to hold that slender body again, to kiss the blond breathless, touch him again and more?

Leon knew the answer already, but his mind still wanted time to process it.


	4. Question every answer

_Disclaimer:__ We still don't own characters. Not Leon, not Cloud, not even Yuffie. (Not that neither of us could stand her cheerfullness.) They belong to Square Enix. __And, we don't own the lyrics either. They're Breaking Benjamin's - the song is "Forget it".  
__Beta: Azrax (We're lacking words to thank you.)  
__A/N (Anae): So, looks like our boys can get along when they want to. Good for them. ^^ But past is something everyone us has, and everyone has scars. Both visible and invisible. Sometimes you should just keep your mouth shut, you know?  
__A/N (QttQ): Yet another chapter - hooray! Number four, already. c :  
__This time, we offer you guys a relaxing bath. Very soothing, isn't it?  
__...Now, honestly Leon, why did you have to go and ruin it with your questions?_

**Chapter IV: Question every answer**

_There's a place I see you follow me  
Just a taste of all that might come to be  
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe  
To question every answer counted_

The bathing chamber had been abandoned years ago. They'd found it on a particularly busy day; an entire crowd of new fighters had entered the Coliseum, making it crowded and busy. The common spaces had been filled with people and - enjoying their privacy - both Cloud and Leon had been keen on washing the day's dirt off somewhere else.

The bathing chamber had been disgustingly filthy when they'd first stepped into it. The Coliseum was filled with rooms that had been left empty and unused - no one knew exactly how many halls the enormous building held. The two fighters, however, were stubborn. In a relatively short period of time, one of the large stone tubs was clean enough and the water mechanism working somewhat well. Never had a bath felt so gratifying.

After multiple times of usage, the bathing chamber had started to look rather welcoming. The stone tiles had been washed clean by water that flooded over the edges of the tub. The air had changed from heavy and stifling to a mix of scents that had their origins in soap. The whole space had come to life once someone had dared to step in again.

And alive it was. The water was sloshing softly, dribbling down along the outer side of the tub. The chamber was filled with quiet noises, hushed words of encouragement and want. The air was thick with groans and deep breaths, the scent of human passion lingering everywhere.

It had become a habit of theirs and they'd adapted it as naturally as breathing. After Cloud had left him in the midst of their quarrel, Leon had sought the blond out again. They'd finally gotten their match - and what a fight it had been. Both men had worked like never before, having found a partner who could actually offer a challenge. Once the swordfight had been over, they'd found themselves in a whole new battle, hands grasping at clothes like no tomorrow.

It was a way of relieving tension. Both Cloud and Leon needed to get physical from time to time, be it on the battlefield or in bed. Their situation was simple - it wasn't even a relationship, not in words. They simply understood one another and knew what was satisfactory.

They sparred. They fucked. And on some occasions, like this, they made love. Those moments were of the most rare kind. Both Cloud and Leon were so often pumped up with adrenaline from their sparring sessions, that patience was but a hindrance when they finally got to touch each other. From time to time, however, they found themselves in a more tender moment, spurred by something else than a battle.

They were a tangle of limbs in the hot water, hands sliding easily over slick, wet skin. Their lips were sealed together in heated, sloppy kisses, bodies rocking slowly beneath the surface, desperate for more than the caresses the water could provide. Cloud was gasping into Leon's mouth, the rhythm of his breathing alone enough for the brunette to know that frustration was starting to build up.

"Not enough." The murmured demand wasn't even needed, but the huskiness in Cloud's voice made Leon's fingers grip at the blonde's lower back just a tad tighter. One more kiss, filled with tugging teeth and probing tongues, and Leon was pulling Cloud flush against his body, earning himself a grateful bite to his lower lip. When the gunblader found a firm footing and pressed his palms against the underside of Cloud's thighs, the fair fighter clung to him with no other options at hand.

The deeper side of the tub provided Leon with exactly what he needed. He pushed Cloud against the edge of the tub, trapping the wanton body between himself and the smooth stone surface. Cloud was more than willing to keep his thighs around Leon's figure, already moving against the other man in an act of desire. The hot water surrounding them had brought a heated flush to their cheeks, and Leon reveled in how well it settled onto Cloud's pale features.

An especially harsh roll of hips against his and Leon's attention was guided back to the situation at hand. Cloud's eyes, no matter how lustful, were sharp and demanding. The blond wasn't going to ask for what he wanted, because he didn't need to. They had an understanding.

It was a silent agreement, but it wasn't love. Even if Leon was gentle as he prepared the blond fighter for what was to come, even if he sucked tenderly on Cloud's neck to distract him from any discomfort, he didn't do it out of love. Respect reigned between the two men - their interests were based on reason, not emotion.

And yet, it brought both men a fulfillment that was beyond rational when Leon finally pushed into the fighter's willing body. It was a feeling, that was something neither man could deny, but they kept quiet and concentrated on pleasing one another, quickly finding a rhythm they comfortably fell into.

The water slowed them down. Their couplings were often both fast and furious, but their surroundings forced them into a slower pace. Cloud's hands were on Leon's back, his shoulders, his chest - anywhere they could reach, they went, rubbing small circles of encouragement onto the slick skin. Leon's mouth was by Cloud's ear, each wave of hot air fanning against the blonde's neck, every single gasp loud and clear.

They worked together towards a glorious end, both men growing more frantic in their need. Cloud was pushing against the edge of the tub to get as close to Leon as possible, not minding the way the stone felt against his bare skin. Leon had to keep reminding himself to loosen his grip over and over again. He didn't want to leave bruises onto the creamy thighs, not when they - for once - were free of wounds.

It was with a torturous slowness that Leon and Cloud built up the pleasure in their bodies, finally reaching the point where neither one of them could stand it anymore. With a stifled, hoarse cry, the two fighters let go and surrendered to a sensation of ecstasy, clinging to each other like drowning men.

Both Cloud and Leon had come to notice that soaking in the hot water after a round of good sex was something that should've been more widely appreciated. They'd learned to enjoy each other's company during moments when they did nothing; such as now, with both men seated on the shoal side of the tub, thoroughly relaxed.

That was when Leon's eyes started tracing along the marks on Cloud's skin. He ignored the blooming love bites, and concentrated on the faded, almost invisible patterns instead. Aware of what they were and having a good number of his own, Leon found no shame in examining Cloud's body so openly. After all, each scar told a different story - each scar was a door to the quiet fighter's past.

Blue eyes followed Leon's stormy ones as they roamed over his body. The warrior offered no words of discomfort as hand joined the search eyes had began, not even when the movement stopped, having found an almost faded scar on his right side. The touch was gentle, alike to the blue-grey storm that captured blue sky. "Who?"

It wasn't in Leon's nature to ask, so he generally didn't. He usually wasn't even interested, but this one rare time, he was curious. The **eyes,** he had so many times drowned in, remained emotionless as he was answered by just one word. One name.

"Sephiroth."

Cloud broke the eye contact, deciding to follow other's path of search-find-ask-game he was playing. Pale fingers stopped to rest on brunette's abdomen, caressing a scar there. The eyes moved, meeting the others. "This?"

The answer was a shrug. Leon himself couldn't recall when and where he had gotten that; he just vaguely remembered the pain of your stomach being sliced, the fear of your own entrails flooding out. "From some mission. When I was in SeeD."

"SeeD?"

"Elite mercenary force."

The younger man nodded, not wanting or caring to push further of which Leon was silently grateful. He certainly had no interested in sharing his past with someone - even if that someone was a man he respected. Yet the brunette was relieved to find next scar, one he had come across many times earlier as his hands had slid across the blonde's bare back. Leon didn't mouth his question, he had no need to - Cloud could read him well enough.

"Sephiroth."

Before the gunblader could process the emotions behind the well-hidden tone and think the way the body trapped between him and wall tensed, he felt fingers slide across his face, gently brushing his most visible scar. "A training duel", he choked out. It hadn't been just any training duel. That day had changed everything, the way he and Seifer had treated each other since - what they became in the future.

Leon shook his head, rapidly chasing the ghost of his past away. The look in Cloud's eyes was almost apologetic as the blond drew his hand back, dropping it on the other's side, pale fingers touching the exposed flesh - still unwilling to let go of the warmth.

It wasn't until then that the gunblader noticed one, almost invisible scar on the other's chest. It was so small - as if a narrow blade had cut through the skin. Without thinking anything in particular, Leon's hand moved on Cloud's backside just to find the spot where the blade had pierced the skin there. Not a word was said, but the brunette's hand was back on warrior's chest, palm pressed on top of the scar.

Cloud's posture was rigid, his gaze fixed on the water to avert the other fighter's eyes, and as much as he tried to hide it, Leon could hear the pain, sadness and bitterness, maybe even fear, dripping on his voice as he spoke. "Sephiroth."

Sephiroth. That one person seemed to have inflicted something on Cloud, something that would never go away. Leon wanted to know what had that man done and why, but he didn't ask. It wasn't his place to do so. After all, what were they? Sparring and fucking partners, nothing else.

Once again younger warrior brought him back to this moment, hands roaming across still moist skin. Gripping Leon's hip, Cloud drew himself closer, pressing their bodies back together. With a roll of his hips, Cloud erupted moan from normally quiet man and silenced him with breath-taking kiss.

Leon answered the kiss the same ferocity it was given - biting, teeth clacking. Neither of them had any more matches today, both men had had only a few this morning, which gave them opportunity to spend some more quality time in this bathing chamber. Even if it was nowhere near to love, for some reason, today they didn't hurry. Maybe it was due to silence of the chamber and the way warm water wrapped around them. Or maybe it was just today - atmosphere that lingered between them. But whatever it was, even in his foggy mind, as Leon pinned Cloud on the wall, their tongues continuing the battle they had started, Leon knew that all of this - it was just a diversion. Not to fulfill their need of physical contact - it had been solved already - but to kept the thoughts out of the scars, and possibly most importantly, away from this Sephiroth.

It was a fact - a fact that shouldn't have mattered as much it did.


	5. Your past

_Disclaimer:__ We own neither characters nor the lyrics. The latter belongs to Atrium, the song is "Slave to your past".  
__Beta: Azrax (Thank you.)  
__A/N (Anae):Now, a huge applause to QttQ. She did such awesome work with this chapter, especially with Yuffie. She's a character that I can't take on, but QttQ can. She's awesome. 3  
__Thanks for comments so far and hope you enjoy this chapter as well!  
__A/N (QttQ)__:__This chapter. Oh God.  
__I was never a fan of Yuffie in any way, and then I volunteered to write her. It was such a huge mistake. :'D  
__I hope you guys can still enjoy this little discussion. Do I sense a dive deeper into the plot? Perhaps, perhaps._

**Chapter V : Your past**

_The days, they go on  
__and the roads are so long  
__You're a slave to your past,  
__a slave to your past_

Leon wasn't a man who dwelled in unnecessary things. He preferred to leave things behind, to push them aside and concentrate on the moment. The gunblader had enough baggage to take down a normal man, enough memories and experiences to haunt him for the rest of his life. Had he lingered in them, he would never have been able to move on, to take a step towards an actual future. Sure, sometimes even Leon's past came back to haunt him, but the brunette had learned not to let it bother him too much.

Cloud's past, however, wasn't as easy to ignore. Leon tried, he truly did - he concentrated on the days ahead of him, on the battles yet to be won - but his mind was working against him. When he stood on the battlefield, wiping off the blood from his gunblade, he wondered whether the scar he had left behind would resemble the one on Cloud's chest. When he watched the blond fight his way through the ranks, he wondered if any of his opponents were as strong as Sephiroth. As much as Leon tried, he just couldn't make himself forget.

Cloud's face had been so guarded, his voice so full of stifled emotions. Even if the blond was careful not to show his true thoughts and feelings, the state Leon had seen him in had been something completely different. Whoever this Sephiroth person was, he made Cloud most uncomfortable. Moreover, the fact that he made Cloud uncomfortable, made Leon even more so.

Sephiroth occupied Leon's thoughts day in and day out. That was a partial reason to the lack of awareness that lingered around Leon during a walk around the town, away from the Colisseum for a change. Due to the brunette's state, he didn't notice the shadow that followed him, moving from one alley to another, melting into the scenery. When Leon finally sensed someone's presence, it was far too late.

Before Leon could even blink, he was on the ground. A blade was pressed against his neck, a weight settled onto his back, keeping him from getting up. The man tensed, his fingers twitching. He'd left his gunblade at the Colisseum - he was unarmed. He was going to have to beat this opponent by hand; a robber, probably, some pick-pocket who didn't know who he'd attacked. If he could only-

"Squally-boy! Long time, no see!"

"…Yuffie?"

Leon could feel the weight shifting and the blade was pulled away from his skin. Within seconds, he was on his feet again, facing the chirpy female ninja who was beaming up at him like no tomorrow.

"I got you there, Squall! See how much better I've gotten!"

"…Whatever."

The ninja just shrugged it off and smiled widely at Leon in her usual manner. They had been friends for ages and even if Yuffie sometimes tested his patience, Leon held her very dear. Yuffie was aware of his past and background, which made Leon value the petite ninja rather greatly. Now, however, she seemed to be aware of Leon's present activities, as well.

"Were you thinking about Cloud?" She cooed, tucking away her knife and giggling at Leon's puzzled, somewhat surprised look. "I've seen you two together. You make a nice couple."

"Couple?"

"Whatever you say, I think you guys look good together!"

"We're not a couple. We're acquaintances."

"Oh, shut your mouth. I think it's great that you've made Cloud think about something else than Sephiroth for a change. I mean, the things he did to Cloud-"

Yuffie grimaced and swallowed, glancing around her on the street, as if expecting to see no one else but Sephiroth appear around the corner. For once, her eternally gleeful spirits had been changed to something wary and frightened as she gave a full-body shudder, trying to shrug off the feeling of pure disgust that had taken over her.

"Really, Leon." Yuffie folded her arms over her chest, her usual grin slowly returning onto her face. "You and Cloud are good for each other. You're happier, he's happier, and Sephiroth is out of the game."

That name made Leon's expression darken immediately. It had been on his mind constantly and now it wasn't coming out of Cloud's mouth. It was time to find out what the story behind the name was.

"Sephiroth." Yuffie was slightly startled by the tone of Leon's voice - its severity and coldness, and the hint of frustration that tinted the word. "Tell me more about him."

"I'd rather not." Yuffie gave a nervous little laugh. "I'm sure you've heard enough from Cloud, already. Let's just skip the unpleasant subject and talk about something else, okay?"

"No." Leon's words were firm, final. "Spill it, Yuffie."

That was when Yuffie realised the size of her mistake. She took a step back and her laughter turned into a slightly frightened gurgle in her throat. Her eyes moved from Leon's eyes to the street and back, calculating her escape routes.

"Cloud didn't tell you-" She inhaled. "-did he?"

Yuffie turned around and ran. Or tried to run - it was Yuffie's turn to end up on the ground. She let out a shrill shriek when Leon simply sat on her back, holding her down. She kicked and trashed around, but the gunblader stood his ground and kept her down, knowing that the ninja wasn't truly hurting, but rather bothered by the situation she was in.

"Who is he, Yuffie?"

"I'm not the one you should be asking." Yuffie was doing her best to get out of Leon's grip, but the brunette proved out to be much stronger than she'd believed.

"You know Cloud won't say anything." Leon's voice was gruff as he stated the fact.

"Then you shouldn't pry!"

"Just tell me, Yuffie. It isn't that hard." To emphasise his point, Leon pressed his knee against the ninja's back, applying pressure. It wasn't even close to pain, but poor Yuffie was so frightened, that she broke in an instant.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you!"

Immediately, Leon eased up on the weight he was putting on the girl, letting her breathe. After a few deep breaths, she spoke, her voice quiet and careful.

"I don't know all the details." She said, laying very still in Leon's grip. "But I know what he caused."

The mere tone of her voice made disgust crawl through Leon's system.

"What did he do?"

"He hurt Cloud."

The blond's body was covered in scars. Leon had only dared to ask about a few, but what if they had all been caused by the feared, terrifying Sephiroth? The man had left visible, physical marks that would never face away, but had he left mental imprints, as well?

"How?"

"They battled."

"And?"

"And Cloud fought Sephiroth and killed him. Twice."

The phrase left Leon speechless for a moment. His curiosity got the better of him, however, and he pushed the details aside to concentrate on the more important questions.

"Why?"

"Sephiroth-" Yuffie grit her teeth. "-used him."

Pain. Fear. Shame. Had Sephiroth tortured Cloud?

"Used him?"

"Yeah." Yuffie's voice was broken, and as she spoke, it morphed into a mere whisper. "In all kinds of ways."

The words echoed in Leon's mind in the most horrible way. Mental images flashed in front of his eyes, his body frozen with gruesome hatred towards Sephiroth. What had he done to Cloud? Why? What had their relationship been? Leon was confused, angry, frustrated and still not satisfied with the answer Yuffie had given him.

The few seconds it took for Leon to get himself together again were enough for the ninja to react. Before the gunblader could react, Yuffie had slithered her way out of his grip and climbed to her feet. In an instant, she was escaping, running like never before, afraid of Leon's questions and the answers she wasn't supposed to be giving away.

Leon cursed and slammed his fist into the ground when he realized what had happened. Exhaling deeply, the brunette tried to collect himself and his thoughts. He'd found out more about Sephiroth than he might've wanted to know, and far too little to be satisfied. The gunblader was aware of what he had to do, but the thought wasn't pleasant in any way. Confronting Cloud would not be easy, especially after how the blond had reacted last time, and after what Leon had found out just now.

And yet, Leon knew there was no way to avoid it. This was something he wouldn't be able to forget, something he had to face. He would make Cloud face it with him, no matter what it took. And perhaps, through the brave, blond warrior, Leon would eventually be able to face Sephiroth.


	6. Memories of you

_Disclaimer:__As much as we love the boys, we're still kind of afraid of Leon's gunblade and Cloud's bustersword. They still belong to Square Enix boys. And the song, it's Linkin Park's; Figure.09.  
__Beta: Azrax (Thank you. Once again.)  
__A/N (Anae): No way, this one. *groan* Cloud didn't keep his mouth shut, of which I apologize. You'll notice the line of which I'm talking about as you'll see it. *hides under the covers*  
__Anyway. Sometimes you shouldn't push too hard. You'll never know what you'll find. Hope you'll enjoy!  
__A/N (QttQ): This. . . This chapter. Oh dear Lord. Leon, honey, you shouldn't go poking at sleeping monsters like that. They tend to wake up and then all hell breaks loose. Like here. You ought to be careful about what you wish for.  
__Let's all give tons of praise to Anae for managing to get into Cloud's head via Leon's eyes! Now that's a unique skill, I tell you.  
__I hope you guys enjoy reading this chapter. c : Stay tuned for more!_

**Chapter VI: Memories of you**

_Everything comes down to memories of  
You  
I've kept it in but now I'm letting you  
Know  
I've let you go  
Get away from me  
_

The metallic sound of blades clashing echoed throughout the yard. The Coliseum had been crowded enough to make Leon and Cloud seek a place more peaceful for their training – the ruins of an old, abandoned building, that provided them with enough shelter from curious eyes but gave them room to move. Their usual sparring session was in action, both males breathing heavily, their clothes dirty and their eyes wild.

Leon had come to notice that Cloud was no ordinary man. He'd never met anyone with so much strength before. And the blond wasn't just strong – he was a pure powerhouse, wielding that enormous sword of his, swinging it without one single problem. Leon had yet to try the sword, himself, but he doubted he'd be able to use it like Cloud did.

Leon often admired Cloud's way of fighting, but today he did so from a new perspective. The talk he'd had with Yuffie still haunted him after so many days. He couldn't get the girl's words out of his head.

"_Cloud fought Sephiroth and killed him. Twice."_

Yuffie had made it very clear that whoever this Sephiroth person was, he'd been incredibly strong. Yet Cloud had conquered him in the end, and taken his life. Twice.

That was something Leon couldn't understand. The story itself, however, had made him very aware of the fact that Cloud was capable of killing someone. He had the strength and the attitude – he wasn't to be taken lightly. Still, Leon sparred with him more often than not, and kept returning to the battlefield, only wanting more.

A strong blow forced Leon to take a step back, then another. He grit his teeth, his eyes meeting Cloud's own over the edge of his gunblade. The blond looked calm, and oh-so-confident. Perhaps Cloud truly was capable of killing someone, but for now, Leon was going to show him that he would never go down as easily as Sephiroth.

A violent thrust gave him enough space to swing his weapon, circling Cloud with short, quick moves. He aimed for Cloud's legs most of the time, simply because he enjoyed seeing the man hop around, trying to dodge him.

Cloud might've been strong, but that didn't mean Leon was weak.

It ended like most of their sparring sessions did. Eventually their weapons clashed with enough strength to send both fighters onto the ground. Too worn out to continue, Leon raised his hand in a sign of ending the battle. It was by no means a way of giving up – they simply had an understanding of not continuing when they got too exhausted.

Panting and gasping, both Leon and Cloud sat on the ground, trying to catch their breath. Leon was leaning his elbow heavily onto his knee, inhaling deeply to make his heart stop pounding like it would've been trying to break out of his chest.

"That-" The brunette stated, casually spitting into the sand to clean his mouth. "-almost had me worried for a second. You really are strong. Sometimes I think I'll end up like Sephiroth when you pick up your pace."

Leon didn't even realise what he'd said before he'd uttered the words. And still, he knew it had been intentional. The thought of Sephiroth had bothered him long enough – it was time to find out what it all was about.

Those words - they had strong influence on Cloud. For a moment blond warrior just stared his sparring partner, blue eyes wide, and then in those pools, there was a flash of mixed emotions. Leon could pick up shock, surprise, anger, hate and pain before that messy head was turned aside, golden bangs purposefully covering the eyes. "Who told you?"

_Who_ wasn't the question Cloud was going for, even if he had used the exact word. _What were you told_, was the true meaning behind that tone - tone which was as blank of emotions as the man usually was. To Leon's surprise, other fighter didn't remain quiet. "What", it was no mistake - the brunette's ears didn't betray him - that voice trembled, just slightly. "What do you know?"

It was like a blow to his face. Cloud's entire posture changed – he turned away, his shoulders slumped, and he seemed to want to escape the whole situation. Leon, however, was determined on keeping the blonde there, for better or for worse. If that meant answering some of Cloud's questions, then so be it. Perhaps he'd get some answers in return.

Leon wasn't going to reveal his source of information. If Cloud told him nothing, he'd return to Yuffie. But if Cloud found out where he'd gotten these facts, Yuffie would definitely stop gossiping. Now that just wouldn't do.

"Nothing much." Came Leon's calm reply. His eyes were on Cloud, examining and questioning. He wasn't lying – he didn't know that much, after all. And even the things he knew were utterly confusing. "But I do know that he hurt you."

Now that he said it aloud, the words sounded possessive and caring. In Leon's mind, it had been a simple statement. To avoid questioning his own feelings about the whole situation, the brunette brought forth a question of his own.

"Who was he, Cloud?"

The blonde kept his gaze on ground, as if averting Leon's questioning eyes. Cloud's hand closed into a tight fist, nails digging deep inside to the skin. It was a small, insignificant movement, but the gunblader noticed it nonetheless. Maybe Cloud did too, maybe he didn't, but Leon did. "He's my darkness."

Seconds passed before neither of the men moved. It was a mild surprise to both that the blonde's mind and body moved faster than the other fighter's. "That's all you need to know."

With that, Cloud grabbed his huge sword from the ground and moved towards an exit. His movements weren't rapid, they weren't uncontrolled, quite the opposite. Even if he was fast, his entire body was still rigid. He wanted out; out of this ancient, disgusting building, away from Leon, and above all, away from this conversation.

But Leon wasn't satisfied with the answer he got. Sephiroth was Cloud's darkness? What was that even supposed to mean? Yes, Sephiroth did sound like an unpleasant person – like an evil man, to be completely honest – but to describe him as darkness merely seemed odd.

The brunette frowned slightly, and his frown only deepened when Cloud clearly wanted to end their discussion there. That didn't suit Leon.

His hand landed on Cloud's shoulder. The grip wasn't tight, but it was firm enough to tell the blond not to move. Leon had brought this up to get some answers, and he wasn't going to leave without them.

"He drove a sword right through you." The words were brutal, especially from the usually quiet fighter. He remembered Cloud's scars, however, and the way Cloud had avoided speaking of them. Sephiroth might've been Cloud's darkness, but Leon had a feeling he was more than that. "Who was he?"

Cloud didn't move. His other hand was still on tight grip, tight enough to draw blood. And he flinched as those words left Leon's mouth. The gunblader however didn't regret, as much as he disliked seeing the blond hurting. Younger warrior's next words were so quiet, almost inaudible. The way those words were pointed to the ground, the way they were spoken… Deep inside the gunblader knew this was as close as he'd ever hear Cloud begging. "Drop it. Just… drop it."

Those words, that attitude, they truly surprised Leon. This wasn't just some person Cloud had defeated in the past. It was easy to see that this was something bigger and far more important – something that had made Cloud into the person he was today. Because of that, Leon was ready to stand his ground in order to make the blond speak.

"I won't."

It was a simple statement, but Leon's voice rose to a level that made it impossible to ignore. A simple tug and he spun Cloud around, hoping that the man would face him and not turn away again. They might not have been in a relationship, but Leon considered Cloud something akin to a friend, and if anything, he wanted to know more of the fighter he spent his time with.

"What happened?" It was a far more simple question, but that much more important. The next words took their time to be uttered, but when Leon finally spoke, he did so with a demand in his tone. "What did he do to make you kill him?"

It was clear to Leon that Cloud let himself to be turned around - to be done something he didn't want to. But even if Cloud let him, the man still refused to talk. He didn't struggle, but he didn't meet his eyes either. "Stop."

Leon didn't take Cloud's words as a warning – he saw nothing but a man, hiding behind his demands and pleas of changing the subject. Well, Leon had other things in mind. He was going to make Cloud talk, because if this arrangement of theirs continued, then Leon wanted to know more about the blond, both the good and the bad.

"Why won't you just tell me?" Leon's frustration was starting to leak through. His hand moved from Cloud's shoulder and grasped the man's jaw, forcing that handsome face to tilt towards him. He wasn't going to give in. "It's not a complicated question, Strife. What happened?"

"Fine."

That, besides the angry flash of blue eyes, was the only warning Leon got before he felt himself thrown on the wall. Even if the building was old, despite it's age and looks it was made of something very durable - something that made air rush out of man's lungs as his back met the unforgiving wall.

As Leon coughed, getting himself to a sitting position at least, he took a look at Cloud. Younger man's posture was rigid, like it had been all the time, but now… it was even worse. It was like he was made out of stone - except he was shaking.

"You want to know what Sephiroth did to me?" Leon didn't answer, he had no need to. Not that he could've, he was too busy staring at the blonde's eyes, two deep blue whirlpools that were drowning him. He was drowning in a mixture of sorrow and pain. Never in his life had Leon seen a human possess such agony. "He burned my hometown, killing everyone there. He murdered the woman I deeply cared for. He tried to destroy the fucking world by bringing down a Meteor. And top of that…" on every phrase, Cloud took a step closer to Leon, until he was in front of him. Then he kneeled, continuing his confession. "…he messes with my head. Every now and then I can hear him, telling me how Aerith's and Zack's deaths were my fault; how I couldn't stop him from killing her; how I'm nothing but a failure; how my darkness calls his because we're same; how I'll forever be his puppet."

Cloud's eyes were cast on ground at the end of his speech. He couldn't bare watching someone as pure and strong as Leon while confessing what a failure he was. Leon, however, didn't know what to say or do. He had asked the whole truth, but right now, he wished he hadn't. He didn't want to hear anymore, didn't want to see the intense and pure pain this one person carried. But there was more to come.

"I know you've noticed my strength." A fist hit the wall next to Leon's head, nearly making a hole to the wall Leon's body barely scratched. Now that made the gunblader flinch. "You're right, it's inhuman." Those blue eyes still refused to meet the grey; Leon didn't dare to move an inch, he barely dared to breath. "It's due to mako injections I was given when I was a test subject in Hojo's lab." Cloud closed his eyes, letting out a shaky laughter. "Thanks to that, I got mako poisoning. That led to my… best friend's death because he didn't abandon me. He protected me and now he's dead."

Leon was speechless.

He had himself to blame, and no one else. He'd been under the impression of Sephiroth being an old enemy, someone Cloud had pissed off and then defeated in fair battle. Leon had thought that perhaps Cloud had done something he was ashamed of to end up in a battle with Sephiroth, that maybe being the reason why the blond didn't want to speak.

He'd expected a small revelation, a tiny secret.

Not this.

The brunette had to admit that he felt fear when Cloud approached him and nearly drove his fist through the wall next to his head. The blond was inhumanly strong – now even Cloud had said it out loud. Leon didn't know what mako was, but right now, he didn't want to ask. He'd already found out enough for one day, he had enough to think about for now.

Cloud's best friend was dead. A woman Cloud had cared for was dead. Cloud's home had been destroyed. These things alone were enough to break a man, but on top of it all, Sephiroth seemed to continue tormenting Cloud even now, lingering in his head even after his death.

Leon sat very still for a long while, his eyes on the fighter in front of him. Cloud was kneeling, his eyes cast onto the ground. The brunette didn't dare to tilt his head again, not when the dull throb in his back reminded him of where that had gotten him just a moment ago. Instead, Leon reached out, hesitating for a good while until his gloved fingertips brushed against Cloud's arm.

"You killed him." Leon breathed out, hoping that his words would do some good. "You won."

Leon couldn't have been any more wrong.

Cloud flinched under his touch - something that had never happen before - and let out a shaky laughter. "Won?"

Just a second ago, the brunette had wanted blond just to look him in the eye. Now he wanted to tear his own gaze away. Those beautiful blue eyes, they were utterly blank, if not for the pain still lingering in them - a sight that Leon had seen too many times.

It was a gaze of a defeated man. A gaze of adying man.

It probably hadn't felt so horrible if Cloud's would've been older, but he was even younger than Leon. And Leon knew he was far too young to be here, to have experienced all he had.

"I've killed him twice. He'll just come back again. Is that really winning?" With that, Cloud stood up and turning his back on the sitting gunblader, he picked his sword of the floor. That movement made Leon wonder where in this house his gunblade was; the weapons had been so easily forgotten as they had been distracted by a battle of a different kind.

On the door, Cloud stopped. "Leon." Warrior tone was flat, as if all emotions had been drained from it. Which, due to what had just happened, would be no surprise. "This is over. Don't seek me out again."

And then, he was gone.

Leon wanted to climb to his feet and catch up to Cloud, he wanted to grab the man's arm and make him stay. He wanted to apologise for even bringing Sephiroth up, and if anything, that was rare. Leon didn't apologise in vain and sometimes he didn't even apologise when he should've done so, but right now, it was all he wanted to do.

All of his thoughts, however, remained as such. He couldn't make himself rise from his sitting position, not when he'd witnessed Cloud's fury first-hand. He wanted to keep his life and his limbs, but Leon was awakened to a brand new realisation.

He wanted to keep Cloud.

The thought alone shocked Leon to the extent that he didn't have time to react before Cloud was out of the door. Alone, the brunette sighed deeply, finally letting his rigid posture relax. He felt drained of all energy, both physical and mental, everything replaced by concern, confusion and curiosity.

He knew more about Cloud know, whether he'd wanted it or not, but he had a feeling there was still more to discover. Was the mako poisoning the man had spoken of the reason behind the wing on Cloud's back? How long had it been since he'd killed Sephiroth? New questions had risen from the now answered ones, but Leon wasn't sure what to do with them, anymore.

He didn't even know what to do with Cloud.

Their agreement had been simple and easy – they'd challenged each other on the battlefield and healed one another in bed. Now the entire situation had turned complicated, all because of one question. Cloud had told him not to seek contact anymore and Leon had to admit that he wasn't sure whether or not to obey. Did he want to continue his partnership with Cloud?

Yes, that he was sure of. What he didn't know was whether he wanted the responsibility he now had, knowing so much about the blond fighter. If he accepted all of this and returned to Cloud against the man's demands, it would be like taking a step forward. Their simple partnership would end right there.

As night fell, Leon finally left the abandoned ruins, troubled by his thoughts. For the first time in years, the gunblader thought he might've found something he wasn't able to handle.

Or someone, to be precise.


	7. Decapitate me

_Disclaimer:__Even if the boys so nicely play in the sandbox we've created, we still don't own them. Neither do we own the disturbed song we're using - Sonata Arctica's "My dream's but a drop of fuel for the nightmare".  
__Beta: Azrax (...We bribe you with our thank yous?)  
__A/N (Anae): ...Cloud, I'm sorry. But you won't have any regrets in the future? Maybe?  
__Anyways, huge thank yous for those who commented and faved! You're important to us. For now, enjoy and see you in the next chapter!  
__A/N (QttQ): __There are people who write fluffy, romantic stories. There are people who enjoy making their characters live happily ever after. And then there are people like us, who do this.  
__Leon, learn some manners. That's all I have to say.  
__If you believe that these two still have a future, then stick with us and wait for the next chapter!_

**Chapter VII: Decapitate me**

_The broken glass I stepped on,  
__twice  
__The ardent spirits' rusty edge,  
__decapitate me_

The Coliseum never slept. During the day, battles were carried out at the arena; the dust didn't even have the time to settle until new opponents already entered the circle. During the nights, most fighters enjoyed the deserved sleep and rest they got, but some trained even through the darkest hours. There was always someone up and about and the building was never completely silent.

Leon preferred to spend his free time away from the Coliseum. It gave him a chance to forget about battles, to let both his mind and body rest for a while. Especially now, with the situation at hand, the brunette took those moments as a chance of forgetting Cloud momentarily and thinking of something else. The problem was, his thoughts just wouldn't co-operate.

It had been two days since their clash of words, since Cloud had told him not to attempt making any contact again. Leon's mind had worked the discussion over so many times, that he was almost tired of it all, but he just couldn't stop. The thoughts of Sephiroth wouldn't leave him, the idea of Cloud's suffering wouldn't give him peace. That, and - even if it was hard to admit - he was already starting to yearn for the blond's company.

So when Phil had made a comment on how Cloud seemed to be glued to the cliff only a short walk from the Coliseum whenever he didn't have a battle arrangement, Leon's mind was already made up. It only took a bit of self-encouragement before the gunblader was on his way towards the spot he knew rather well. It provided one with a splendid view of the city and especially during the night, with the ground lit by small windows and the sky lit by tiny stars, the scenery was breathtaking.

As expected, Leon spotted a dark figure at the edge of the cliff. The enormous sword, tightly secured to the man's back was enough to reveal his identity, but the fair spikes were what gave it away to Leon. Standing there, barely visible against the slowly darkening sky, Cloud looked as lonely as Leon felt.

He was sure Cloud heard him long before Leon was even close. There was no reaction, however, and a few feet behind the silent, brooding man, the gunblader halted. He didn't know what to say - he didn't even know why he'd come. He just knew he wanted to mend the crack that had appeared between the two of them.

"Cloud." It was just an acknowledgement, a way of telling the blond that he was here, even if it wasn't needed. If Cloud had meant business, if he really didn't want to be around Leon anymore, then why hadn't he left, already? Amongst the insecurity that had taken over Leon's mind, a small ray of hope was lit. Perhaps this battle hadn't been lost quite yet.

It would've been stupid for Leon to assume Cloud hadn't noticed him before he spoke up. Yet the way the younger man's body stiffened - something Leon wouldn't have seen if he hadn't spent so much time with the blonde - was telling a different story.

Or maybe Cloud just tensed beforehand, expecting the obvious words that Leon had come to say. Yet, instead of ignoring the brunette completely, Cloud spoke. "What do you want?" His tone was cold and flat, eyes never leaving the cliff and the city.

Leon wasn't sure if apologizing would make the situation any better. He'd pushed Cloud into answering questions he might not have wanted to know the answer for, but it was too late to take it all back now. No, Leon's main duty wasn't to apologize, but it was something to start with.

"I came to say I'm sorry."

The brunette's voice seemed to loud and strong in comparison with Cloud's. The blonde's tone was cold and distant, but Leon didn't let himself be pushed away. If Cloud wanted to get rid of him, he'd have to try a lot harder.

"And to tell you that I'm not going anywhere."

Now that caught some kind of reaction but Leon wasn't sure what it was. Cloud turned a bit, one shoulder still towards the city but eyes meeting gunblader's. There was definitely something lingering behind those icy sky blue orbs but Leon couldn't put his finger on it. Yet.

"I already told you, it's over." There was finality in those words, just like a few days ago. But Leon had already made up his mind, and he hadn't come this far just to give up.

Something in Cloud's words didn't impress Leon. Perhaps it was the gunblader's own determination, but he didn't believe Cloud wanted this to be over, either. The brunette was ready to do his part of the job, but he needed Cloud's co-operation to make it work.

"That's not your decision to make." Perhaps Leon was stepping over some boundaries and even being a bit ridiculous, but he did have a say in this, too. He wasn't going to accept Cloud's opinions without at least trying to work everything out, first. "I'm not giving up because you tell me to. I'm no fool."

"You are." Cloud turned, now fully facing Leon. "If you want to keep me close, you are a fool." The blonde took a few steps closer, stepping into Leon's private space and hissed, words carrying a a real threat. "I could kill you."

Leon had to admit, that when Cloud approached him, an alarm went off in his head, telling him to reach for the gunblade that rested in its holster. He didn't, however - he silenced the demand his mind was making and concentrated on Cloud's words, even daring to scoff slightly.

"Because I asked some questions?" That was exactly what Leon had done. Sure, he'd nearly forced Cloud to answer them, but that was his only crime. It was obvious that Cloud didn't enjoy the fact that he knew those answers now, but that was no reason to cut off the agreement they'd shared until now. "You're not like that."

"You don't know me", Cloud coldly answered. It was a shame, but Leon knew what their relationship was. They had fucked, yes, and he knew about Cloud's past now but to tell the truth, that wasn't much to go on. Except the fact that he had calculated right - the blonde hadn't even once reached for his sword.

So, Cloud was right. Yet, even if Leon hated to admit that, it stung. Perhaps he'd overestimated it all. Their agreement. Their closeness. Perhaps he had no value in Cloud's eyes. Leon realized that he'd come to value the blond so much that he wasn't ready to let go of what they had. That didn't mean the feeling was mutual.

Suddenly, Leon felt rather stupid. He truly felt like a fool for believing that the time they'd spent together would've meant something to Cloud. He was the idiot here, not the fighter he was pestering.

"Well, I thought I did." Frustration seeped into Leon's voice as the brunette's expression darkened. He faced Cloud with a sour look, disappointed in himself. "I thought you weren't a coward, but I guess I was wrong."

The last phrase hit the mark, making Cloud tear his gaze away from the brunette. "You'd be surprised", he muttered. Those words made Leon stare a while, wondering, but soon the younger fighter got his composure straight, looking at the older man. "Are you done?"

Leon could've left it at that. Had he been wise, he would've just walked away and ended the conversation right there and then. However, the frustration within him was far too strong to be ignored, and it fuelled Leon's slowly growing anger. He wasn't truly angry at Cloud, but at himself and the entire situation, but the blond was right there and it was too easy to take it all out on him.

"No." Leon's tone was sharp now, meant to harm. It wasn't often that the brunette acted like this, but he was beyond irritated. Even Leon had his own limits. "No wonder you're alone, considering your attitude."

That didn't even hurt Cloud. Or at least Leon didn't see it through his wave of frustration and rising anger. "I chose solitary", Cloud spat back. "It was until you took me to bed out of pity."

Leon's reaction surprised even himself. The cold, humorless laughter that rose from his throat and became something of a scoff; a cruel sound, void of emotion.

"Pity." They'd been over this. He hadn't offered a place in his bed - and his life - out of pity. He thought he'd convinced Cloud of this matter, but apparently the blond still had his doubts. Well, he didn't have the energy to correct him, not anymore. Apparently Cloud thought he was just a cheap, plotting, nosy man, completely worthless and unimportant. Leon swore he heard a crack, but he wasn't sure if it was his feelings or his self-control that suffered the damage.

"One would think you'd welcome anyone who'd accept someone with a wing on their back, out of pity or not." Leon's eyes were cold as they looked at Cloud, aware of how the distance between the two of them grew with every syllable. "You can't really afford to be picky about your partners."

Cloud didn't move, just stared Leon a while, hands clenching into fists. If he had been expecting something, this wasn't it, Leon knew. And as he saw hurt in blonde's eyes, that brought him some sick satisfaction. "I was never looking for a partner, and you know that", Cloud spat back, but his words had no real bite.

Leon could practically see Cloud's defenses crumbling and he knew he should've been feeling terrible. The anger, however, the pure rage his own deeds and Cloud's attitude were fueling was making Leon blind to everything but the victorious feeling he got from snapping back at the blond. He'd come here to make things better, but he'd ended up shattering what was left. It didn't matter anymore - he could step on the pieces, as well.

"Because you can never keep one." Leon huffed, suddenly very fed up with the situation. He wanted to get away, he didn't need to listen to Cloud and his pathetic excuses. "So be alone, I don't care. But don't say you didn't enjoy it, even for just a while."

Cloud finally turned his head aside, a clear sign of Leon's 'victory'. Another was that he kept silent instead of trying to spit something back. Even to Leon, in his state of mind, it was clear that he had managed to shatter - if not break - something. He should've cared but right now, he didn't give a fuck.

So, when he got no answer, he presented his back on Cloud, mumbling "Whatever", before leaving Cloud.

Alone.


	8. Four letter word

_Disclaimer__:__If we were to own Cloud and Leon, they would've had a lot more screen time in Kingdom Hearts. Alas, we don't.  
__The song isn't ours either, even if the lyrics fit. It's belongs to Sevendust and it's called Feed.  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thank you, dear. We were quite worried about this chapter, but you read it anyway (and lived to tell the tale). Thankies.)  
__A/N (Anae)__: ...Okay, I'm repeating myself, but Cloud, I truly am sorry.  
__*glares Leon* See now why you should play nice? So how about starting to pick the pieces you shattered?  
__Thanks for comments and see you in next chapter!  
__A/N (QttQ)__: __What should I say. We all need comfort from time to time. Cloud just seems to crave comfort of an odd kind. I'm just not sure whether I should be glad about Leon offering it to him or not.  
__Leon, you better start mending what you've torn apart.  
__In the mean time, please keep reading! C :_

**Chapter VIII: Four letter word**

_Pity is a four letter word  
__and so is quit  
__And so is left,  
__but I'm right where you wanted me_

The sun was long gone, having disappeared into the horizon as Leon returned to his room. He'd made it a habit to train as much as possible during the past few days, from the earliest minutes of morning into the dead of night. He had nothing else to do, after all, so why not put the time to good use? It wasn't like someone would've been waiting for him or wanted his company, so he had all the time he needed.

Leon had refused to think about what had taken place just a few days ago. The discussion with Cloud was like a bad dream, haunting him, constantly present in the back of his mind, but Leon refused to let it take over. He trained constantly, kept himself focused and alert, and when he didn't train, he slept, giving his body the rest it desperately needed.

Leon was aware of how pathetic his behavior was, but he had no choice if he wanted to avoid the regret and hurt that were cradled somewhere within him. He hadn't seen Cloud during the past few days, which he was grateful for. He wasn't sure he'd manage such a confrontation.

Returning to his quarters, Leon did what he always did. He stretched his sore muscles, but the act didn't ease his ache. He showered and cleansed himself, but the warm water didn't make him relax. It wasn't until he sat down and pulled forth his gunblade that he got his daily salvation. Cleaning and maintaining his weapon was the only thing that allowed Leon to forget about everything else and reach a place where nothing disturbed him. As he polished the blade, erasing every smudge the daily battles had caused, Leon acquired peace of mind.

His peace was broken, however, when there was a knock on the door. A frown crossed Leon's features as he glanced towards the sound, quickly deciding to ignore it. But when the knock echoed through the room again, Leon sighed and put his gunblade aside, abandoning his enjoyable routine.

"What?" Leon barked as he opened the door, not even bothering to check who it was before he spoke. "I'm busy."

Leon was utterly shocked to see the man as he opened the door. His first feeling seeing the blonde swordsman in front of him was a rush of panic through his veins. He didn't know what to say, what to do - hell, he didn't even know why Cloud was here, after all he had said. A memory of those angry words he had spat out, meaning nothing but harm, made him feel bad.

The brunette didn't have the time to dwell in regret for long. Cloud's hand reached for his neck and pulled him into kiss. Leon was too surprised to do anything - his mind refused to co-operate.

In one moment, they were half-way outside and the next, they were inside the room, the door kicked shut behind them. Leon's neighbors would probably kill him for that, but now he had something else to think of, Cloud's lips on his and a warm body pressed against him.

Cloud ended the kiss as quickly as it had started but neither his hands nor his body left Leon's. Instead, he just spoke to his ear, voice leaking emotions. "Fuck me."

Leon was dumbfounded. Cloud had appeared on his doorstep voluntarily and - without even saying anything - offered himself to the older fighter. What was going on? Leon managed to lean away from Cloud's demanding embrace, getting a look at the blond's face. His eyes were tinted red, dark shadows cast onto his usually handsome features. He looked tired and worn out, and in his look, fear danced around the edges of lust and passion.

"Cloud." Leon's voice came out breathless and longing, and the brunette cursed himself for that. He didn't pull away from the other man, his hands securely resting on Cloud's back, but he didn't delve in for a second kiss. His brow was furrowed in deep thought, his mind scrambled, his feelings battling between pleasure and regret. "What is this?"

Cloud shook his head, blond locks dancing around. "Don't", he quietly pleaded, hand snaking down, touching hardened flesh through the leather.

Leon wanted to give in. It was a terrible temptation and so hard to resist, because Cloud was right there, clearly wanting and willing, and somehow past their previous fight. Had Leon been any less bothered by it all, he would've just allowed himself to forget everything else and given the blond fighter what he so seemed to need.

But it nagged at Leon, the sudden change in Cloud's behaviour, and the man's looks. As he leaned in for another kiss, this time actually responding to the lips that so hungrily met his, he gave Cloud a small push, leading the blond backwards. With simple guidance, it was easy to pin Cloud to the wall and pull back from their kiss.

"I asked you a question." Leon's voice was something akin to a growl, low and demanding as he eyed Cloud with a troubled, dark expression. Something wasn't right. He'd hurt Cloud enormously a few days ago, but now the fighter was crawling back to him. That didn't fit into the picture. "Now give me an answer."

Leon didn't expect Cloud to give in - he did remember how much he had had to push the blonde before getting the answers he wanted. This time, however, was different, he realized as Cloud turned his head to the side, looking at the floor with pained a expression.

"I…" Cloud stumbled. "I want to forget. Even- Even if it's just for a short moment, I don't want to think." Those blue eyes, reflecting the memories of something truly horrible, met the grey ones with great uncertainty. "Please."

Leon felt like he would've been holding the most fragile being on earth. The strong warrior, the man he'd occasionally even feared on the battle field, was breaking in his hands. Cloud was clinging to him for dear life, like a drowning man does to a helping hand. For the first time, Leon actually saw Cloud as the younger one out of the two of them - for a moment, he was supporting a youngster, who didn't quite know how to stand on his own.

The image disappeared quickly when Leon faced the pleads Cloud offered him. The blond was running from something, something that lived in his panicked look, in his fearful behaviour. The man in his arms had survived more than many experienced men could endure. He was Leon's equal in all ways.

And that was how he ought to be treated. Leon's expression softened as he looked at Cloud, his hand coming up to push a stray strand of fair hair to the side. Their eyes met as the brunette's battle-roughened fingers brushed over the smooth skin of Cloud's cheek and once again, they shared a silent understanding they both had longed for, but not dared to vocalize.

"Alright." Leon murmured as he pulled Cloud away from the cold, unforgiving wall and against his own, welcoming body. "Alright."

Leon felt Cloud melting into his embrace, the stiffened muscles relaxing just a little. His fingers played with blonde hair, his lips finding the other fighter's. Leon's plan was to make the younger warrior feel comfortable and most of all, safe, thus treating him with tenderness. Because, really, no matter how equal the two of them were, right now Cloud needed support.

That was why he was surprised when Cloud ended the kiss to speak. "Don't be gentle with me." It wasn't an order, but it wasn't a plea either. "I… want it to hurt."

It took a moment for Leon to comprehend what Cloud was saying. He wanted pain? Why? Was Cloud punishing himself for something? Leon wanted to give the blond pleasure, not pain. Was that how Cloud saw him - as someone who only had pain to offer? Leon didn't want to leave such an impression.

Cloud's expression, however, made Leon stop his questioning. He had never seen Cloud this open, this unguarded. The blonde was asking him for something he couldn't ask of anyone else - it might not have been something he wanted to ask for, but he seemed to need it. Who was Leon to deny such a request in this situation?

He didn't speak. He wasn't capable of cruel words anymore, not when he'd already given all of them to Cloud earlier. Instead, he forced the fighter down onto the bed with a rough push and followed suit. The kiss Leon offered to the blond was definitely not gentle - it was full of pulling teeth and aggressive nips, and when his hands found Cloud's body, his caresses were harsh and demanding.

Still, a small patch of insecurity fluttered in Leon's chest and he pulled back for a moment to catch his breath. Beneath him, Cloud looked so vulnerable that it almost pained Leon to see him in such a state.

"Is this what you want?" He asked, his voice hoarse. He needed reassurance of some kind - he didn't want to hurt Cloud for no reason. Again.

The answer he got was a smile. An actual smile. It was pained and brittle, but it was there. "You can't do anything to me I don't want to." Cloud answered, reminding Leon of the time Phil locked them up to make sure the two fighters would make a deal. A deal that had led to this.

It went without saying that Leon didn't feel right. He didn't want to hurt Cloud - the man had gone through enough pain without him adding any more to it - and the blonde's answer didn't give him much reassurance. Then Cloud's lips were on his, hips bucking against him, demanding more. Leon had to make his decision.

It felt inhuman. As he dug his nails into Cloud's flesh and bit down onto the blonde's shoulder, Leon felt a rush of guilt. He soothed the bite mark with soft kisses, but he quickly came to notice what Cloud wanted. Every scratch got him a quiet groan, every bite a strong shudder. The gentle kisses, however, and the soothing strokes gave him nothing but a silent, still body beneath his.

From there on, it was easier. Cloud encouraged him every time he treated the man roughly. Leon had never seen the fighter as open as he was right there and then. It felt wrong to cause pain, but when Cloud clearly enjoyed every ounce, Leon could live with it. Could live with himself, even if it meant hurting Cloud with every single one of his touches.

They lost the track of time. Leon lost count on how many bite marks he left onto the pale skin. He didn't know how many times he made Cloud cry out with a demand of more as he roughly stroked him, all of his touches almost cruelly harsh. And Cloud drank it all up, needily, greedily, clawing at Leon's back, leaving angry, red welts behind. It was a passion Leon had never faced before, strong, dark and dangerous, and once he managed to push aside his constant guilt of hurting the blonde, he hungered for it more and more.

The image had probably been burned into his mind and would stay there for as long as he lived. Cloud, on all fours, Leon's hand deep in those blonde spikes, holding his head down. The fighter was crying out constantly, not at all his quiet, usual self. Tears were running down his cheeks - tears that would make Leon feel terrible in the morning - but he was achingly hard and pushing back against each and every one of Leon's thrusts. Cloud's fingers were knotted into the sheets, his back blooming with red marks of Leon's doing. There was something about the curve of Cloud's spine, the angle of his neck and the quivering of his thighs that made Leon want to keep that moment to himself for all eternity.

Like every moment, however, it passed. The gunblader found his release to be equally rough as their coupling, his fingers leaving bruises onto Cloud's hips - unintentionally, this time. The raw scream that echoed in the small room at Cloud's own climax rang in Leon's ears for minutes, and he tucked it away into his memory, not quite believing that the sound had actually come out of the blonde's mouth. The silent soldier had lost his facade and now Cloud was but a panting mess on his bed, broken, open and bleeding.


	9. Glimpse of your soul

_Disclaimer__:__ Unfortunately, Leon and Cloud don't belong to us, but to SquareEnix. [But we all know that the truth is they belong to no one but each other.] The song is called Shadow, and it belongs to Britney Spears. (Let's pretend you never heard that, just saw the fitting lyrics, hmmh?)  
__Beta__: Azrax (All of our gratitude to you. Without your betareading skills, we'd be in deep... Water. Also thankyou for still continuing with this job even after you met QttQ IRL. Anae you knew already, so there was nothing new to that. :'D__)  
__A/N (Anae)__: Explanations are always nice to have. Even if they're not something you wish to hear.  
__Good thing both of you boys can be civil around each other. And maybe become closer?  
__And who're reading this, huge thank you. Remember to drop a few words to us to know that you're out there. It truly means a lot to us.  
__A/N (QttQ)__: __See, our boys can play nice when they want to. For a moment. When we're watching them.  
__Please, try to keep it that way for a while, both of you.  
__To any readers out there, a huge thanks for following us this far. I hope you'll stick with us in the future, too. C :_

**Chapter IX: Glimpse of your soul**

_How can I tell if you mean what you say?  
__You say it so loud, but you sound far away  
__Maybe I had just a glimpse of your soul  
__Or was that your shadow I saw on the wall?_

The very first thoughts that filled Leon's head in the morning where those of satisfaction and comfort. He felt well-rested for the first time in a while. His body was relaxed, even if a bit sore as the brunette shifted, stretching his limbs. As memories of the previous night - and his unexpected guest - crept back to him, Leon realized just why his muscles reported to him with exhaustion.

He was re-living the moment when he'd found Cloud gone after their very first night together as the gunblader rolled onto his side, wondering just how he would face the blonde from now on.

Except that Cloud wasn't gone. Cloud was very much asleep next to him, the pale, scarred body partially hidden by the sheets. Dark and angry bruises decorated Cloud's neck and chest, and a very clear trail followed the curve of his pelvic bone until the marks dipped beneath the blanket and out of sight.

Leon felt ashamed.

He had refused to fight Cloud due to the blonde's bad physical condition. Twice, nevertheless. Leon had made it his point not to cause more harm onto the swordsman when he was already wounded. Now he'd gone against all of his principles. Most of the bruises on Cloud's skin were of his making.

The teeth marks on the man's shoulder definitely hadn't been there when Cloud had showed up at his door last night. There were a few, tiny droplets of blood on the pillow beneath Cloud's head, but Leon refused to search for their origin. He didn't want to know.

How would Cloud react when he woke up? Would he even remember what had happened? Would he think Leon had taken advantage of him and hurt him intentionally? More importantly, would Cloud want to discuss his earlier behavior and offer an explanation for how he'd acted?

Leon shifted into a sitting position, his body craving for a shower, but his movements caused Cloud to rouse from his sleep. The blonde's brows furrowed and his lips parted, and before Leon could do anything at all, the pair of sky-blue eyes blinked open.

Leon's reaction was immediate. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around Cloud's arm, making sure he wasn't gripping too roughly. And yet, his hold was firm, and as stern as his voice.

"Don't you dare go anywhere without explaining first."

Cloud didn't really tryto pull his hand away from Leon's grip - he merely tugged, probably just to see if he could get away. But since Leon had no intention of letting go, he gave up. "I just wanted to forget."

It bothered Leon. Cloud wasn't the type to give answers, even if it was merely a repeat of the words from last night. Cloud was much like himself; he had to be pushed into a corner with no escape routes available before sharing. And now, not even a single deny. The blonde hadn't even as much as looked away - he met somewhat confused blue-grey eyes with a blank look. It was clear to Leon that despite how open Cloud had been last night, the blond fighter tried to rebuild the walls again. That wasn't what Leon wanted.

The brunette's expression became even more confused if possible when Cloud repeated his explanation from last night. Those had been the only words the blonde had offered to him when he'd appeared by his doorstep.

He wanted to forget.

"What?" Leon's question was sharp, his eyes never once moving away from Cloud's gaze. There was something empty about the fighter, something hollow that made the gunblader shudder with an unpleasant sensation. This wasn't the Cloud he knew. Where was the determination, where were the rough edges and that unforgiving attitude?

"What is it that you want to forget about?"

The knot in Leon's chest tightened as Cloud shortly answered to his question. He neither missed the stiffness creeping to the fighter nor the hidden emotions crossing his eyes. But Cloud didn't cast his eyes aside like he had when pushed far enough - maybe he felt he owed at least some kind of an explanation to the brunette. "My nightmares. My past."

Sephiroth. It was the first thought that crossed Leon's mind, but he decided not to voice his ponderings aloud. Sephiroth's name clearly didn't have a good effect of Cloud - Leon had taken notice of it during their previous conversation regarding the man from the blonde's past. He didn't want to upset Cloud and have him storm out, not when the man seemed to be willing to share things with him, for once.

"Nightmares?" Was Cloud speaking figuratively or was he truly having real, authentic nightmares? Leon wouldn't be surprised if he did. Having someone like Sephiroth haunting your mind was a good enough reason to have a bad dream or two every now and then, as far as he'd understood. "About what?"

Cloud clearly pondered whether he should share more of his past or not but for once he decided in Leon's favor. "Sephiroth. Aerith's death. Zack's death. The time in Hojo's lab." The blonde shuddered at the memory and squeezed eyes shut. He swallowed and drew an uneven breath to steady his breathing before eyeing the gunblader with pained look. "My past hasn't exactly been dancing on roses." The corner of his mouth curved upwards to a fake smile.

Now, there was something relatively disturbing about a hollow, silent Cloud who seemed to have been robbed of his usual attitude. But even more unnerving was the sight of the usually strong blonde with the weakest of smiles upon his lips. Cloud was obviously doing his best to appear collected and calm, but the self-secure shell was cracking.

These people. Aerith. Zack. Leon had heard these names before. Cloud had told him about them, about how Sephiroth's voice occasionally accused him of their deaths. Leon couldn't even begin to imagine how tormenting such an experience could be. Who wouldn't have nightmares when they weren't allowed to forget?

Leon let go of Cloud's arm, his grip loosening. It was strange, to say the least, the way Cloud was opening up about his past. No defiance, to refusing, just simple, straight answers. The brunette didn't know how to take it. As a sign of weakness? Or as progress in the odd, twisted friendship they shared.

"Did you-" Leon didn't want to pry, but his curiosity kept raising his head. His hand might've stopped gripping Cloud's arm, but his fingers rested where they were, a comforting presence on the blonde's skin. "-have one of those nightmares last night?"

The answer was a mere nod. No further explanation about the details of the dream was given but Leon could live with that. He had gotten further than he had supposed he would.

"Last night I… I just couldn't take it anymore. And then I…" Cloud left his sentence in half way. Leon could see how blonde closed himself off, leaving Leon out just by turning his gaze away and pulling backwards, away from Leon's touch without leaving the bed.

"I'm sorry", he choked out as the memories of a previous night flowed into his mind. He had been far too exhausted last night - staying awake only to avoid dreaming for days tended to do that - and far too close to a breaking point to have been thinking clearly. "I used you." Leon clearly knew what Cloud was referring to - after all, Cloud had appeared on his doorstep in order to get an easy way out - to forget. "I'm sorry."

Leon wasn't exactly fond of the way Cloud acted, but he wasn't going to push it. If he'd learned one thing over the past few weeks, it was that there was a line that shouldn't be crossed when speaking about Cloud. Some force was always good and got you some results, but too much and you ended up with a broken nose. Or worse.

But Cloud's words he wasn't going to accept without resistance. Leon shook his head, running a hand through his messy hair, combing his fingers through the strands and solving a few knots.

"No, you didn't." A pair of blue-grey eyes fixed onto Cloud. "You asked for my help and I agreed."

Leon wouldn't go far enough to call Cloud and himself friends. But they were comrades of some sort, weren't they? Partners. And partners aided one another if need be. They were both in this together, that was Leon's opinion.

"You should let me help you." Leon added as an afterthought. His voice was quiet, but the statement in it was firm. "You don't have to endure it all by yourself."

Even though the blonde fighter wasn't looking at Leon, the brunette saw how those unnaturally blue eyes dilated. Cloud really did think that he should've taken all in and go through everything by himself. Not that Leon wasn't quite similar - they both were lone wolves to begin with.

Cloud shook his head slightly. "I deserve it." Before Leon could open his mouth to protest, other warrior continued. "I have no light."

Leon's mind couldn't completely wrap around Cloud's words. No light? What did he even mean by that? Leon could understand that Cloud found it to be his duty alone to take care of his own problems, even if he didn't agree. It seemed like a heavy baggage to carry, the past Cloud had gone through, and Leon was starting to think he wouldn't mind carrying a part of it. Or carrying Cloud, for that matter.

But this light-phrase was something Leon couldn't comprehend. Cloud was speaking in riddles and avoiding his eyes - this wasn't what Leon had started this conversation for.

"Look at me." He demanded quietly. When Cloud didn't react, the gunblader didn't hesitate to reach out and cup the blonde's jaw firmly, tilting his head towards himself. When their eyes finally met, Leon narrowed his own, trying to figure out what went on in that complex head of Cloud's.

"What do you mean, no light?"

"The only thing left inside of me is darkness", was the simple answer given to gunblader. "That's why Sephiroth keeps coming back - my darkness calls for his." Cloud slapped Leon's hand away, once again refusing to look at him - to look something so much purer. Should Leon lose his own light, it would be his fault. Wherever he went, he brought darkness to people. He didn't want to ruin yet another. If he'd walk away now, there still might be a chance to spare Leon. So he rolled off the bed, ready to leave.

Leon was quick to react. Within seconds, he was on his feet, his fingers curling around Cloud's forearm. With a sharp tug and a strong shove, Leon had the blonde back on the bed on his back. He crouched over Cloud like a predatory animal, annoyance written all over his features, a decision lurking in his gaze.

"Don't run away from me." He said, his voice low. He wasn't going to let Cloud go, not like this. Before last night, they hadn't even been on speaking terms. If Leon played his cards right, who knew how well this could end?

"Darkness. Light." Leon scoffed, his hands planting themselves on either side of Cloud's body to keep him where he was. The blonde would have to fight him if he wanted to leave now. "Why does it matter? We all have some darkness inside of us."

Leon wasn't dumb - if Cloud had wanted to, he could've easily thrown him off. But he counted on Cloud's feelings - something was there, that much he was certain of - not to launch him out of the window.

His calculations were right - Cloud didn't fight him, even if he didn't relax. Frustration was starting to build up in younger fighter, Leon could see that. But at least he had the blonde looking him in the eye.

However, Cloud did surprise Leon. The brunette nearly jumped out of his skin as the black, leathery wing, unwanted appendix, shot out of Cloud's left shoulder blade. "Not everyone has a fucking wing morphed of their darkness", Cloud spat.

It was hard to compete with such a comment. Leon was a tad shaken and couldn't resist glancing at the wing that shifted slowly across the bed, as enormous and inhuman as he'd remembered. Yet, it was a part of Cloud and nothing would change that. Moreover, Cloud was definitely a human being with human emotions and all, no matter how hard they had been to detect in the beginning.

"So, some of us contain more of it than others."

It was a weak comeback and not convincing at all, but it was the best Leon could do. His irritation only grew, but now it had to do with himself, not Cloud's behavior. Why was it so hard to discuss with the blonde fighter? Why did they always end up in a quarrel, instead?

"It doesn't change a thing." Leon said, and this time his tone was by far more confident. "Your wing or your darkness. They don't change a thing."

Younger fighter's features softer after Leon's words. "No, maybe they don't. Not to everyone", he answered, tone back to normal level, if not slightly under. "But they are there. It's better if I stay gone. I mar people with my darkness."

His fingers brushes across Leon's arm and looked the brunette in the eye, knowing the gunblader was concerned. "But it's fine. I just can't go to the sun; without a light, I don't deserve being there."

Cloud was actually agreeing to what Leon had said, if only partly. It threw the brunette off slightly. Perhaps Cloud really was opening up to him, finally, and it wasn't just his wishful thinking. Perhaps.

And yet, the blonde's words were hard to respond to. Leon's expression became troubled as he finally let up on the pressure, climbing to his feet. As he did, Cloud took the chance and rolled out of bed, starting the search for his clothes.

"You can go into the sun." Leon insisted, watching Cloud move around and about. The discussion had calmed down enough for him to let the blonde leave if he so wished. They seemed to be on more friendly terms now, which was greatly preferred to the situation before the previous night.

"Why wouldn't you?" The brunette asked as he took a seat on the bed once more, resting his elbows on his knees. He couldn't quite understand Cloud's reasoning in this matter, but then again, there were many things about Cloud he couldn't quite understand. "Everyone deserves a little sunlight, don't be foolish."

Cloud shook his head as he fumbled with the belts. "I don't", he simply stated, so sure of his words that it hurt Leon. The look in his eyes was equal to the tone of his voice. "I don't have a light."

Leon's didn't any arguments left to give, as much as he wanted to. The brunette wished to ensure the younger warrior that he was as much human as everyone; that he had a light; that he deserved to be in the sun.

Gunblader's thoughts were interrupted as Cloud spoke. "Don't interfere."

Before Leon could ask what Cloud meant, the blonde placed his hand on the small table on the room. Then he pulled the black wing back inside his body. The process however, wasn't pleasant even if it was fast. Cloud's nails dug into the wood as a muffled cry escaped his lips. The pain didn't stop immediately as the wing was hidden - the blonde fighter was leaning on the table for support, his breathing was ragged and his body shaking.

Cloud had told him not to interfere, but once the wing was in and the only thing audible in the room was the blonde's heavy breathing, Leon was on his feet. He didn't dare to touch the fair fighter in fear of causing him more pain, but he stood next to him, concern written all over his face.

"Are you alright?"

It was obvious that Cloud wasn't pleased with Leon having witnessed the painful moment, but the gunblader understood very well that one didn't want to go out into broad daylight with a huge, black wing on their back. He liked to think that Cloud trusted him enough to see all of this, but he doubted that was the real reason behind it all - Cloud just didn't want everyone else to know what he was.

"I'm fine", Cloud answered, not too convincingly to Leon's taste. But the brunette didn't push the matter - even he knew when to quit. After having gotten his shaking and breathing under control, the blonde turned to face Leon.

Leon blinked in surprise as Cloud reached out for him, pressing his soft lips on Leon's. The gunblader answered to the kiss. It wasn't anything like last night - last night had been fast and furious, today's kiss was slow and sensual.

When the men parted, they didn't leave each other's eyes. Understanding lingered between two men - they had burned the bridges before, but somehow managed to repair some boards.

Cloud's fingers ghosted over Leon's and gripped them lightly. "Thank you", he said. Leon knew that those were words the blonde didn't often offer - that made them all the more valuable. He didn't answer as the younger fighter left the room, he didn't need to.

In one night, Cloud and Leon had gone from enemies to something far kinder. They'd returned to their original pact of partnership, and no matter how complex or twisted it was, Leon preferred it to a war any day. The gunblader even felt like they would've managed to take a step closer to one another, even if it had taken one hell of a detour.

It was the way they worked, Cloud and Leon. They were both strong and detested showing anyone the weaker side of themselves - the side that was only revealed when they were alone. Now Cloud's shell had cracked and Leon had gotten a glimpse of what was cradled behind that thick, hard shield of his. It wasn't simple, that was for sure, and neither was it easy, but Leon had taken it for what it was - he'd taken Cloud for who he was. And Cloud, all shame and regret aside, had seemed to show him honest gratitude.

Perhaps this was a new beginning of sorts, Leon mused as he climbed back into bed, deciding that a few more hours of sleep would do him good. The blankets were still warm even if Cloud was gone and the brunette found himself hoping that their peace wouldn't be destroyed, this time. He truly wished it would last.

It lasted longer than the scent of a blonde swordsman that lingered on his sheets.


	10. Through shadow

_Disclaimer__:__ No matter what we do, still we don't own the boys. Neither do we own the song - it's one you probably recognise upon hearing - Pippin's song, featured in Steward of Gondor, from movie Lord of the Rings - Return of the King. (Anae: I saw the first movie recently, and I was shocked how awesome it was. Love 'em all. 3)  
__Beta__: Azrax (We simply love you. Thank you, once again.)  
__A/N (Anae)__: It's been a while since the last update, but please understand, our beta had a little hard time and was busy.  
__Anyway. This chapter is the most important this far, revealing where the name of our fic really comes from. It's a little hard to understand though, but you will get it when reading through. Remind you though - this is not the last chapter there is. There will be more.  
__Again, sorry for the long wait and hope to see you still with us!  
__A/N (QttQ)__: I never thought it would come to this. Ten chapters; boy, oh boy! This little project got out of hand somewhere along the way, but it did so in a good manner. I hope.  
__This could be the end, you know. "And they lived happily ever after." But no, we're not stopping here, as cruel as that is. So keep reading, because there's more. : _

_Note__: We thank all of our favers and readers, but we want to dedicate this chapter to raistlynn (in LJ). She has been with us from the get go, and commented every single chapter.  
__Dear readers, you have no idea how much it means to us to have one word or two from you.  
__Thank you all so much, especially you, raistlynn.  
__Enjoy._

**Chapter X: Through shadow**

_The world ahead  
__And there are many paths to tread  
__Through shadow  
__To the edge of night  
__Until the stars are all aligth_

Leon's thoughts wandered. His relationship with Cloud was somewhat "normal" now but the blonde's words from some days before still bothered him. In Leon's opinion, everyone had some light in them.

And, after being a few days alone with his own traitorous thoughts, Leon realised it wasn't doing too good to his psyche. He just had to wonder how Cloud's psyche was still as whole as it was - he was getting a headache already.

The gunblader made a mental note to talk to the blonde about light and some other priorities in life after giving a little more thought what he actually wanted to say. But this plan of his - just like every other before - decided not to work like he would've liked.

Leon was making his way to check out tomorrow's ring fights schedule just to make sure who he'd be up against but as he passed the ring he didn't realise to check out the current fighters.

The other warrior in the ring did notice him, though.

As Leon was heading back to his room, the fight came to an end. Smaller fighter came out of the ring and as he bypassed Leon, their shoulders brushed. Leon noticed the younger, spiky-haired man who acknowledged him by nodding.

"Shit" was the only word echoing Leon's head. Now that he saw Cloud like this, it was just too good a chance to throw away.

That didn't make it any easier to reach out and rest a heavy hand on Cloud's shoulder. He felt the blond tense up beneath his touch, as if expecting a lecture of some sort. When Leon merely nodded back in a small greeting, Cloud relaxed somewhat, but still remained as alert as a fighter of his rank should.

"Did you have something to say?"

Leon cursed mentally. He was out of words, already. Cloud's question hadn't been hostile - their relationship had remained friendly after their previous discussion - but it still required an answer. Moreover, Leon couldn't leave his thoughts unvoiced, not at this point.

"When was the last time you went somewhere?" Leon slapped himself for the clumsiness of his words, inhaled and tried again. "I mean out of here. Away. How long has it been since you spent time away?"

That was a question Cloud hadn't expected. Younger fighter's silence and somewhat surprised stare told Leon that much. "Long", he answered, apparently not wanting the gunblader to know the real length of time. As older fighter pulled his hand away, it was Cloud's turn to ask a question. "Why?"

Leon's expression was unreadable. He didn't want to be too blunt about this - about the fact that Cloud's sanity couldn't be doing very well after such a long time of seeing nothing but the Coliseum walls and the areas close to the building - but he had to make his point clear enough. The Coliseum was a dark place and living as a prisoner within its stone chambers was probably feeding Cloud's beliefs of darkness lurking inside of him. Leon wanted to get the blonde out and about, and make him realise the truth about himself.

"It might-" _Improve your sanity. _"-Do you some good."

To not insult Cloud, Leon hurried to continue. He had heard of Cloud's friends multiple times, and even caught a glimpse of them when they had been having a conversation with Yuffie. Leon wasn't too familiar with the lot, but he did know one thing; they wouldn't have minded a visit from Cloud.

"When have you last seen Tifa?" Leon folded his arms over his chest as he gave the fighter a long look. "It wouldn't hurt, you know. Seeing someone outside of these walls and greeting the sun every once in a while."

The mention of Tifa pulled up some feelings, as Leon had expected. He didn't personally know Tifa that well - they had met a few times and talked, but from what he had heard, Tifa was probably closest to Cloud, being his childhood-friend and all. Leon caught a glimpse of guilt from the younger warrior. So he had been right - it had been a very, very long time since he'd last seen Tifa.

"I already told you", the blonde answered, dodging the first question. "I don't have a light."

Leon found himself face to face with a brick wall. This was the exact claim Cloud had made when they'd last discussed the subject. The brunette couldn't see the logic in Cloud's reasoning, not in this matter. One couldn't survive without an inner light in this world, especially after such torment which Cloud had experienced. He couldn't be a creature of complete darkness; it was simply impossible.

"Come on." Leon grunted out, shifting to lean against the wall while he eyed the blonde with a rather grim expression. "How can you still think like that? Why wouldn't you have a light of your own, just like everyone else?"

The gunblader was a stubborn individual but so was the swordsman. But this time, unlike some days before, Cloud wasn't going to explain it. Both men knew that he had already told Leon what there was to tell - and this was a discussion the blonde would rather skip. "Not everyone has a light, Leonhart", Cloud simply answered, and there was a finality in those words as younger warrior turned to leave.

The comment made Leon groan out loud. He'd pushed it too far - now Cloud was running away from the confrontation. It was easy to step in front of him, however, and block the blonde's way out. Cloud halted as Leon refused to move, arms still resting on his chest, his eyes fixed on the slightly shorter fighter.

It took a moment for Leon to form the right words. Even then, the thought felt utterly stupid when he finally vocalized his thoughts, but it was better than standing quietly, after all.

"I still can't agree with you on that." Leon murmured, earning himself a frown from his partner. "But if you really feel like you can't go into the light, then at least let me give you a hand." The brunette showed his palms to Cloud in order to stop him from talking, already knowing what the man was going to say - that Leon couldn't become his light just like that. Leon doubted he could've pulled it off even if it would've been possible; that had never been his plan.

"I could always stand between you and the sun, you know." Leon wasn't sure if this was working, He glanced at Cloud, insecure but determined. Dropping his hands, Leon gave a small shrug, but his eyes gave away how much he really cared.

"I could be your shadow, instead."

Cloud's jaw literally hit the floor as those words left Leon's mouth. All he could do was to stare the older man in shock. It took more than one moment for Cloud to mouth the only one phrase echoing in his head. "What?"

Leon didn't exactly know whether the reaction was good or bad. Perhaps Cloud was surprised simply because his suggestion had been utterly ridiculous. Leon combed his fingers through his hair and sighed, giving the blonde a pondering look. He'd already begun - the damage had already been done.

"I'm not so good at these things", the fighter admitted. "But a shadow does give you shelter from the light, doesn't it? If you feel like you can't face the light, then maybe I could-" Leon cleared his throat, quieting down for a moment. He wasn't even sure what he was suggesting. He just wanted to get Cloud out of the dark, cold building that couldn't be doing the man much good.

"I could be your shadow." Leon simply repeated, not knowing how to explain himself further. "If I can't be your light, I can be your shadow."

Leon shifted from leg to another as he anxiously waited for Cloud's answer. He felt so utterly stupid, thanks to his stammering explanation. He had to wonder if Cloud even got his point - point that even he himself wasn't completely aware of. To be a shadow to hide someone from sunrays - like a tree shadows the flowers beneath it, maybe.

Those moments were probably longest in Leon's life so far. Cloud was simply looking at him and when the brunette seemed to be about to say something, the warrior just turned away. Cloud inhaled deeply, resting his head to his palm, desperately trying to reorganise his thoughts. Leon gave him the time he needed, as long as that seemed to be. When Cloud turned back to face Leon, he had only one question.

"Why?" It wasn't often that Leon had seen Cloud like this - the blonde's entire being was unguarded. Cloud was moved by his kind offer but insecurity still lingered in the warrior, now that shock had lowered. "Why would you go that far?"

Why, indeed. The question should've been simple, but Leon found himself at a loss of words. He'd come to care about Cloud's well-being during the past weeks. Had Cloud been of no importance to him, he wouldn't have tried to mend their friendship in the first place. And neither would he have stood here, offering to shelter Cloud from the thing no man should've feared.

So, lacking the perfect answer, Leon did the only thing he was comfortable with; he answered with a question of his own.

"Why not?" Leon tilted his head and shot Cloud a look that told him not to argue - he'd already made up his mind. "It's not going to cost me anything and it'll help you. So why wouldn't I give you a hand?"

If Leon didn't have the perfect answer, neither had Cloud. The blond was still trying to understand Leon's reasoning, which made no sense to him. "I…" That was all he could manage. He had no objections Leon would approve - his darkness was the main reason, but Leon wouldn't take it and he certainly wouldn't back down. "It will", he almost whispered. "In time, it will cost you a lot." Without really realising it, Cloud wrapped one hand around his body protectively. It had cost so much to everyone who had ever helped him - his hometown had been burnt to ashes, Sephiroth had killed Aeris and Zack had been shot to death.

These fates, the fates of Cloud's friends - they were something Leon still didn't fully understand, but didn't dare to ask about, either. What he did know, however, was the hunch of how Cloud preferred to keep everyone away from himself to avoid having to face another loss. Now, Leon didn't know how tough Cloud's friends had been, but he did know that it would take a lot more than one try to wipe him out.

"It'll cost me nothing." Leon repeated, reaching out slowly. His fingers ended up resting on Cloud's arm in a soothing, warm manner. He wanted to embrace the fighter in front of him, who seemed to be crawling into his shell once more, but he lacked the confidence to do so. Cloud was hard to read and Leon didn't want to end up getting too physical when the blonde wasn't up to it. The last thing he needed was an upset Cloud.

"And if it does, then I'll worry about it when that time comes." It was all Leon had to offer. His thumb brushed softly over the dirt-covered skin of Cloud's arm in a short caress, as if ending his statement. This was what he was offering, now Cloud had to either take it or leave it.

Now Cloud didn't have a single argument left. He had done nearly everything to push Leon away to safety - with no success. Of course he could now walk away, like he tended to, but…

Seeing Cloud's internal struggle and his decision, a tiny smile rose on Leon's lips. Step by step, he was beginning to understand the younger fighter. This time he had gotten what he wanted without an argument. And if it didn't feel good.

Taking silence as yes, Leon slowly wrapped his fingers around Cloud's. Calm blue-grey eyes met the still slightly unsure mako blue. Without words, Leon started to walk, not letting go of blonde's hand, just to ensure he wasn't left behind. Cloud didn't struggle, not even once, as he let himself to be guided out of the gate, to the outside world.

He might've not had a light, but now he had a shadow to shelter him from the sun.


	11. Guide his way home

_Disclaimer__: __None of these characters belong to us. Some of them we wouldn't want, either way, but we wouldn't mind owning a pair of sparring boys. Alas, they're not ours to have. And the song belongs to Kamelot - it's called Sailorman's Hymn.  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thanks. Again.)  
__A/N (Anae)__: Wow, chapter eleven already. Who would've guessed.  
__In this chapter, we bring you one more character. Neither QttQ or me is fond of her, but she's still important piece when it comes to our boys.  
__Hope you enjoy!  
__A/N (QttQ)__: And so we turn the world upside down.  
__Really, this was planned for a long time, but it took us eleven chapters to get here. And this chapter was a pain in the ass to write; it's nothing but confusion. Leon is confused, Cloud is confused - hell, even I'm confused! I hope you guys aren't, because there's more to come. C ;  
__Anyway, thankyou for sticking with us this far. I hope you'll keep  
__checking back for as long as we have something to offer. 3_

**Chapter XI: Guide his way home**

_She stands by the window alone  
Staring into the rain  
She is trying to guide his way home  
From the waters that keep them apart_

Leon had suspected that Cloud might get nervous once they neared the area where the blonde's friends lived. Leon didn't really know the exact location, so he had to rely on Cloud to actually take them there, but he wasn't going to let the swordsman turn back and surrender. It had been a long time since Cloud had properly visited his friends and it was about time he left the Colisseum and enjoyed the scent of fresh air. The departure had been abrupt - they'd packed almost nothing, only the bare necessities - and Phil hadn't been overjoyed about their decision to go, but even the old goat had seen how important this was. It would do Cloud some good to spend time with those who loved him and escape the world of blood and battle, even if just for a moment.

As they drew nearer to their goal, Leon found that he felt more nervous than what Cloud seemed to be. He'd met some of Cloud's friends before - Yuffie and Tifa, for instance - but there were others to be introduced to, as well. It wasn't a very important moment, because Leon was nothing but a friend, if even that much, but for some reason he felt restless as Cloud lead them to a street with neat, roomy houses lined up like in a postcard. Radiant Garden had always been a beautiful town, and even if it was currently being partially re-built and had an unfinished feeling to its exterior, it still emitted the sensations of warmth and hospitality.

Cloud only hesitated once, and that was when they stood at the door. Leon gave him the time he needed while carefully examining the handsome, tense face as Cloud stood quietly, not as much as raising his hand to knock. Eventually, Leon rested a supporting palm on Cloud's shoulder and they shared a short look. Nothing was said and Cloud reacted in no visible way, but it seemed to give him the courage he lacked. In a sharp, shift movement, Cloud knocked on the door and stepped back.

Leon would've bet money on the fact that they both counted the seconds until the door opened. Cloud tensed visibly and Leon allowed his hand to remain on the blonde's shoulder. He wasn't sure if it was helping, but it wasn't being pushed away, which Leon took as a good sign.

The door opened to reveal a smiling Tifa. Perhaps she was expecting a salesman, maybe some friend of her's, but she definitely wasn't expecting Cloud Strife. As soon as her eyes landed upon the fighter, her smile faded away and was replaced with a completely surprised look with a hint of disbelief. She remained in the doorway, staring at Cloud, not paying any attention to Leon, whatsoever. It felt like an eternity, but finally, she spoke.

"Cloud?"

Her voice was sharp and strict, like an accusation. It was as if she would've been blaming the man on her threshold of pretending to be her friend.

Cloud nodded. It was all he had to do, because the reaction was immediate.

"Hey, guys!" Suddenly Tifa was all smiles, shifting in the doorway, calling into the rooms out of their sight. "Come here, you've got to see this! Guess who's here!"

Leon felt more than saw Cloud tense up even further as she invited the rest of the house's residents to gather by the door. Yuffie was the first one to arrive and she let out a shrill howl of joy when she spotted Cloud. Immediately, she was clinging to the swordsman, hugging him for dear life.

"Chocoboy, it's you!" The ninja was as hyperactive as always, but there was something honest about the way she smiled at Cloud. She really did care about him, Leon noted as Yuffie finally let go. Cloud truly had friends who cared for him.

The slightly older man who appeared behind Tifa was unfamiliar to Leon. The man was balancing a cigarette in his mouth while he grunted a greeting, arms folded across his chest.

"'S about time we see ya here, Strife." Even if the man looked grim and even a bit annoyed, his tone was kind. "Tifa's been a pain in the arse 'cause she's been so worried."

"Shut up, Cid." The dark female snapped, turning to Cloud. The smile that appeared on her face told, however, that Cid had been right. It was filled with a longing that conveyed her feelings better than anything. As she pulled Cloud into a long embrace, Leon's hand finally slipped from the fighter's shoulder. Cloud was with his friends now. He had all the support he needed.

"There's someone else for you to meet, too." Tifa finally said as she pulled back and welcomed Cloud and Leon into the house. Her smile was sad in a way that made Leon frown in confusion, but he didn't dare interrupt. "We didn't know how to contact you and it hasn't been that long since- Oh, just follow me."

Cid shook Leon's hand with a firm grip and Yuffie gave him one of her famous grins as a greeting while Tifa led Cloud into what seemed to be the living room. When Leon attempted to follow, Yuffie took his hand and stopped him.

"He can be upset." The ninja said, and Leon had never seen Yuffie as serious as she was now. "Don't blame him if he gets upset, okay? If you do, I won't forgive you."

Leon had no idea what was going on. His confusion only grew, but he managed a nod for Yuffie. Cloud might get upset? Why? Because of this mystery guest? But Tifa had seemed rather happy to introduce Cloud to whoever it was, so the meeting couldn't be that bad, could it? And still, as he finally entered the living room, doubt was pooling in his stomach.

Leon tried to make himself believe that he didn't feel an outsider. He knew Yuffie and he'd spoken to Tifa before. So far, Cid was the only one of Cloud's friends he hadn't seen before. He had been welcomed into the house, even if none of these people knew that much about him. They probably didn't even know what his relationship to Cloud was, because the fighter wasn't the most talkative person beneath the sun. Leon had a hard time imagining Cloud telling his friends what it was that went on between Leon and himself.

Then again, was there anything to tell? They'd been through quite a few quarrels now, mostly because Leon had gone and probed at things that weren't exactly his business. He couldn't really explain why he did these things, why he bothered Cloud over and over again even if it often led to a battle of either words or swords. There was something about the blonde man that intrigued him. He was strong and proud, and definitely someone Leon respected, both as a fighter and a man. Yet, at the same time, he had seen Cloud in the most fragile state, he'd somehow managed to crawl beneath Cloud's skin and settle down into the corner of his soul.

There was nothing to tell when the cards were laid out. Leon and Cloud were fighters of the highest rank, of the roughest kind. They had a manner of relieving stress that involved a moment in the dark, a round between the sheets, a stolen hour in the bathing chamber. Apart from that, there was nothing to present to an outsider. They weren't friends, not really, not even if Leon felt like he'd managed to get beneath that thick shell of Cloud's. They were acquaintances at best, comrades in battle, opponents and sparring partners. For the moment, it was enough. In the end, it had to be enough, because Leon had no way of demanding more.

So perhaps he envied these people a tad, he mused as he entered the nicely furnished living room and let his eyes pass from Yuffie to Cid and finally to Tifa. These people had been Cloud's friends long before he'd even met the fair fighter. They had a place in Cloud's life, because they were a part of his past. There was no room for Leon in the days that had already passed, but for some reason, the brunette had decided to be a part of the times that were still ahead. That was why he'd followed Cloud here in the first place.

Managing to make his mind settle down slightly, Leon finally concentrated on the matter at hand. The rather small living room felt a bit packed now that they were all spread around it. Both Yuffie and Cid had decided to stay back, and Leon joined them, feeling at ease in the background. Even Tifa remained a few steps behind Cloud, her hands twisted together in an act of obvious nervousness. Cloud himself seemed to have frozen, standing in the middle of the room, hands knotted into fists on either side of his body. Leon couldn't see his face, but he could guess that it was a mask of controlled emotions, as tense as always.

Seeking the source of Cloud's attitude, Leon's eyes glided over to the last person in the room. On the couch, sitting with her hands neatly in her lap, was a young woman. She was rather beautiful, Leon noted, in a way neither Tifa nor Yuffie could pull off. Tifa had an edge to her that conveyed her strength and ability to survive on her own, while Yuffie had an air of eternal cheerfulness around her.

This woman, however, carried none of those qualities. Leon could only describe her as calm and harmonic. With her small, gentle smile, fair skin and pale pink dress, she seemed to ooze gentleness like no one Leon had ever met before. She did nothing but sat there, her eyes fixed on Cloud in the most loving manner, as if his presence alone would've been the greatest gift she could ever be presented with.

Cloud was the one to speak first. Leon had never heard his voice as low and controlled as it was now. Cloud was holding himself back like never before, and Leon could only wonder why that was. What was it that Cloud was trying to hide, and what did it have to do with this strange woman?

"Who are you?"

Leon's confusion grew even further. Cloud didn't even know this person? Then why was he reacting so strongly to her presence? A glance at Cid and Yuffie gave Leon no clues - they both looked tense, but they clearly had a grasp of what was going on. Neither one looked as confused as Leon felt. There was something Leon didn't know - something that bound all of this puzzle's pieces together.

"Have you forgotten me?"

Her voice was just as calm as Leon had expected, if not calmer. It was like the song of the gentlest bird, and Leon found himself thinking that this woman would make a very fine mother some day. She seemed to be honestly curious for the answer, because the way she spoke wasn't accusing in any way. She merely wanted Cloud to remember her, nothing else.

"How could I?"

Leon gave up. He wasn't going to understand this before someone explained it to him. So, instead of trying to figure everything out, he concentrated on the discussion everyone else seemed to be so interested in.

"Then you do remember me."

"I'm not a fool. You don't exist. She doesn't exist."

"I can assure you of that I very much exist, right here and now."

"How?"

Cloud was talking a lot for his usual, quiet self. This had to be a very important meeting, Leon figured. Or a reunion, if their words were anything to rely on.

The woman sighed softly, smoothing out her dress as she stood from her seat. A few steps were enough to take her to where Cloud was standing, as cold as the sword strapped to his back. He didn't react in any way, didn't greet her with an embrace, not even a nod. He merely stood and faced her as she watched him, that smile ever present on her beautiful face.

"I don't know ." She said quietly, resting one of her hands on Cloud's chest. "None of us do. But there has to be a reason for why it's possible."

Cloud was as swift as he was on the battle field. He turned around and left, his steps quick and light. He didn't spare anyone a glance, he didn't say anything, he didn't as much as give a warning. In one moment he was there, and in the second, the front door had opened and closed, and Cloud was gone.

Leon was dumbfounded. Tifa looked utterly defeated and disappointed, and Yuffie looked like she was about to cry. Cid looked even more grim than usual and lit up a new cigarette to replace the former one. The unfamiliar woman was the only one who kept smiling, merely sighing softly and lowering her hand with a soft shake of her head.

"He's the same as always. Just like I remembered him."

Before Leon had time to open his mouth, her eyes had fallen on him. She approached the brunette with kind curiosity and extended her hand in a greeting. Leon accepted and shook it softly, as if afraid of breaking her with his battle-roughened hands.

"And who might you be?"

"Leonheart." Leon nodded. "Just call me Leon."

"Very nice to meet you, Leon. You're a friend of Cloud's, I presume?"

"A battle comrade, more or less." Leon wasn't going to specify, not unless she asked. And she didn't; Instead, she said something that made Leon's stomach turn.

"I should've guessed." Her smile didn't falter, but her eyes seemed to sink right into Leon's soul. "You immediately reminded me of Zack. A bit."

The words made Leon suspect something his entire mind went against. And still, as he gathered his courage and asked the one question he could ask, he still expected the answer on some level.

"And who are you?"

"Me?" And she smiled, like she would've been smiling for years and never stopped. "I'm Aerith."


	12. Welcome to the game

_Disclaimer__: If it were for the time we spend in the heads of these boys, they would be ours already. But nu-uh, it's still Square Enix calling the shots. __The song is Breaking Benjamin's Hopeless. (Yes, Breaking Benjamin, again. Blame Anae.)  
__Beta__: Azrax (We're still trying to find new ways to express our gratitude. And we fail.)  
__A/N (Anae)__: "Welcome to the game." Indeed. Leon, you should little by little start to understand where you're sticking your nose in... Btw, I hope our Aerith is alright for you. I played with her on this chapter, and she started to live her own life.  
__Hope you don't mind that little thing though, since this is still continuing. Hope to see you again, and don't forget to tell us you're there!  
__A/N (QttQ)__: Okay, time for some explanations - or at least an attempt at explaining. We actually thought this through, you guys, honest! It just isn't very easy bringing people back from the Great Beyond.  
__Also, have some Tifa! Anae plays the best one I've encountered so far, so this is a real treat if you ask me!  
__Again, thankyou to everyone for following us this far on this road. I hope you'll be there in the future, too. C:_

**Chapter XII: Welcome to the game**

_Here I lie forever  
__Sorrow still remains  
__Will the water pull me down and wash it all away? _

_Welcome to the game.  
_

Leon stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. As soon as she had spoken her name, he could understand the way Cloud had acted. Tifa's and Yuffie's words made sense as well. He could strongly recall Cloud's words from their previous quarrels. That Aerith was dead, that her death was somehow his fault.

But now this woman toldhim that she was Aerith.

The gunblader eyed her warily, thoughts racing. She seemed far too alive for a lifeless corpse.

Maybe because nothing seemed real anymore and Leon's mind was occupied with processing how this all was supposed to be possible, trying to find any hints of how it would make sense, he didn't think what he was about to say.

Leon had never been the most eloquent person. He preferred to speak his mind, to tell the truth of his thoughts, so he had a bad tendency to be too blunt sometimes. This, this was one of those times.

"I thought you were dead."

If every single eye-pair in the room hadn't been on him before, it sure was now. He could almost hear the unspoken question on their lips, and somehow it interested him what looks they were giving. He hadn't meant to be that blunt, to tell them that he knew things about Cloud. Things that the silent fighter preferred to keep to himself.

However, what was done, was done. So he met the surprised green eyes of the woman.

She did not speak for a while. Leon could feel himself growing agitated. Sure, he could feel the aura of kindness and pureness Aerith spread around but something of the way she looked at him made Leon feel uneasy. It felt like Aerith could see right through him, to see the truth of his relationship with Cloud, to see right into his soul.

It truly distressed him.

The kind woman might've noticed it, since smile returned to her face before she stepped back, shrugging. "I used to be, yes." She eyed Leon, green eyes looking straight though him. "But as you see, I'm alive. Like I told Cloud, none of us knows the reason."

Her gaze wandered to her lifted palm. "And we all want to know why." The hand was squeezed into a fist as she lifted her head, eyes filled with determination and belief. "And we will find the answer."

Leon had no answer to that. He was taken aback by the strength Aerith had. It wasn't same strength Tifa had; Tifa seemed perfectly capable of taking care of herself whereas Aerith seemed far more fragile. Yet, this strength of hers was no less than Tifa's. It was coming somewhere inside her; she believed in her words, and she'd make them come true - no matter what.

The moment, like every other, passed. Soon she was back to her smiling, kind self. That's when Cid decided it was time to take his leave. "'lright, time get back to work. Gotta build more than a few houses." Without any more explanations, he walked out the door, leaving Leon alone with thegirls.

"Yuffie", Aerith spoke softly, getting the unusually quiet ninja's attention to her. "Could you help Cid a bit? I'm sure he'd appreciate a helping hand."

"Sure!" Yuffie happily answered. Leon could tell that even if Aerith's request had brought her cheerfulness back, there it was still far from usual. Everyone had a lot in their mind - both memories and worries - and Yuffie was no exception. "Call me if you need me!" she chirped before exiting. "Cid, wait!" she shrieked, and Leon found himself with two women he barely knew.

Without a word,the women started doing their tasks. Aerith left the room and moved to a smaller one, to change sheets or something close to that, and Tifa went to wash dishes.

Before Leon had time to feel very out of the place, Tifa started to talk. "Leon Leonhart, right?"

"Yeah", he confirmed, stepping a few steps closer to the sink, feeling awkward standing alone in the middle of the room.

Short silence expanded between the two before Tifa spoke. They were barely acquaintances, neither really comfortable with the other's presence. It wasn't that they didn't have respect towards each other; both were aware of other's fighting skills but the truth was, when it came to Cloud, neither of them knew where they were standing.

"So", Tifa started, putting some dishes aside as she glanced Leon over her shoulder. "You're staying here with us?"

Leon was taken aback for Tifa's straightness. Then again, Yuffie had once said that she would never cross with Tifa, especially if she was angry, so maybe he should've expected this.  
The brunette pondered the question for a while. He didn't really have any place to stay and the town was still under construction and there weren't many rebuilt houses available. And he didn't mind the idea of staying close to Cloud. "I guess", he answered. "If you'll let me."

She snorted, giving the gunblader a small smile. "We don't have much space, but I'm sure we'll manage somehow."

Tifa put the washed dishes away and turned to fully face Leon. She eyed her thoroughly, a lot like Aerith had before. Under her gaze, Leon didn't feel comfortable but wary instead of distressed like he had felt with Aerith. He could feel Tifa trying to see through him, but not managing. At least not yet.

Tifa, however, caught him off guard easily. Far easier than Leon had expected, but then again, he had never expected a woman to be so serious and straightforward about a thing like this. "How did you get Cloud out of the Colisseum?"

Leon stared at Tifa for a good while, mind racing once again, wondering how he was supposed to answer to that. Telling his relationship with Cloud wasn't an option. And he truly didn't want to explain his promise to be Cloud's shadow to anyone.

Looking at Tifa's deep brown eyes, the gunblader came to understand that not answering wasn't an option either. Same came to lying, he bet that she could see through his lies easily. After all, Leon wasn't much of a liar and she had spent years with Cloud, practicing that certain skill.

"I vowed myself that I would help him", Leon answered. He could say she hadn't given up because ofthe way Tifa acted, Leon could tell that she deeply cared of Cloud. That she hadn't given up, that she wanted to shelter and protect him.

That wish wasn't so far from Leon's own.

Before Tifa could ask anything else, Leon excused himself and left the building. As the gunblader eyed the sunless sky, noticing how the dark clouds were gathering, he drew a deep breath. Then he set on to his task of finding Cloud.

It took him quite a while toaccomplish that. He strolled around thestreets and dark alleys, but the blonde was nowhere in sight. In the end, he decided to climb on top of a roof to try and see if it'd be easier to spot the fighter from above. It wasn't hard to climb on top of a roof - but it was harder to find a roof safe enough to stand on without a fear of it crashing down.

He was surprised to find the blonde. Not from the narrow alleys, but from the rooftop.

As Leon worked his way towards the right rooftop, he had to wonder why. High places seemed to attract Cloud. Usually there was a reason behind such act, but Leon had no idea what. He made a note to ask the blonde about it someday.

When he reached the roof, he stopped on his tracks just to look at the blonde. Cloud was sitting on the rooftop - one leg was hoisted to his chest, other was resting on tiles. He was certain that Cloud was aware of his presence, but the blonde did not show it any way.

At first, Leon had to ponder whether go to the man or not - he wasn't sure if his presence would be welcome since Cloud obviously had a lot on his mind - Leon personally didn't know if he'd been able to hold it together as well as Cloud did. Not every day you found out that the one who's death you blamed yourself was alive again – fora reason unknown. And the little he knew about the blonde warrior's past combined to that…

Leon had seen men breaking down for less.

So when Cloud rested his temple on his knee, sighing, Leon did what felt natural. Without a word, he closed the distance between them and sat down next to the blonde. He didn't sit too close - he didn't want to smother Cloud - he simply wanted the blonde to know he was there.

Quietly, only wind and darkening sky as their witnesses, Leon reached out and gently rubbed Cloud's back. He was mindful to avoid the wing - he didn't want to remind the brooding blonde of its existence.

Neither man said a word - neither even glanced at each other. But the other still was there. And that was what mattered.

The dark clouds on the sky however told them that a storm was coming.


	13. These questions

_Disclaimer__: Even after all this time, we own nothing. The lyrics: Blaque – Questions.  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thank you, once again.)  
__A/N (Anae):__ It's been quite a time since the last update. Sorry, next post will be within two weeks, I promise! Hope to see you still with us, though.  
_…_Tifa, again. Seems we never get rid of her. *sigh* But we got some Cid as well! He's QttQ's, and gotta say, I love how she plays him.  
__Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter!  
__A/N (QttQ)__: Sorry for taking so long with posting this chapter! We'll be posting more frequently from now on, we promise! This chapter is one of ponderings and explanations rather than actions, but I hope you don't find it too boring. Also, I apologise if my Cid isn't IC, but do try to manage with him. : Thankyou for sticking with us this far! The show still goes on!_

**Chapter XIII: These questions**

_I never longed for no one,  
yes its true.  
Seems like these questions keep me here with you._

Silence was a natural state for both Leon and Cloud. That was the reason for their smooth co-operation - because they really could work together when they weren't on the opposite sides of the field - and the flow of understanding that always seemed to be present between the two of them. Even now, as they returned to the house after a long while of merely sitting on the roof, they did so in silence.

There were questions that needed to be asked, for sure, but this wasn't the time for inquiries. If anything, this was the only moment when the men could find rest. The presence of someone who asked nothing, demanded nothing and even did nothing was more comforting than anything else. Leon was aware of the delicacy of the situation, of the fragile surface they now were treading on. Cloud's past had returned to haunt him in more ways than one, and the blonde fighter had to face it; Now or never.

Leon had no idea what part he would end up playing in this little act. They were surrounded by Cloud's friends now, and along had come Aerith, who had - according to Leon's understanding - once meant the world to Cloud. The deck had been carefully shuffled, however, and the cards that had been dealt out were completely foreign. And even if Leon knew that every other person in the house probably felt just as confused, it didn't aid his personal agony one bit.

There were so many things that needed to be explained. Leon had slowly been digging his way into Cloud's past during these past weeks, and at one point, he'd actually believed to have reached the very core of the secrets the blonde was hiding. Now, however, he had lost all confidence in the matter. These people knew Cloud much better than he did and Aerith's appearance proved that there were still many things Leon didn't understand.

Yet, Leon didn't become desperate. Even if he felt like an outsider in the crowd that consisted of Cloud and his long-time companions, he didn't allow himself to dwell in self-pity. If anything, the situation had boosted Leon's determination in finding out what it really was that had molded Cloud into the man he was today. Instead of feeling left out, Leon took the moment as an opportunity to learn more. No one else knew as much about Cloud than these people Now was the time to complete the puzzle, to solve the mystery that Cloud was.

It was with these thoughts that Leon returned to the house. Tifa was there to greet them when they stepped in and Leon could've bet all of his money on the feelingthat the woman had been waiting for their return with anxiousness. Cloud said nothing when Tifa told him that Yuffie had moved her things from her room and that Cloud could now move into her quarters. Tifa seemed to understand, however, because she merely directed Cloud to the second floor and watched the blonde climb the stairs and disappear. Briefly, Leon wondered whether Tifa and Cloud shared the same silent understanding he had become so familiar with.

When a door closed on the second floor, Tifa's eyes slid over to Leon. Immediately, the brunette felt less at ease. Tifa seemed to be the one who made the rules in this household. Not only that, she seemed to feel very protective about Cloud. It was something Tifa and Leon shared, but it also made Leon feel the tiniest bit of discomfort. For some reason, Cloud was in bad condition more often than not when he and Leon were together. This, he imagined, didn't sitwell with Tifa.

"You're staying too, I guess?"

It took a while for Leon to determine whether the tone was rude or not. When he found no hostility in Tifa's gaze, however, Leon decided that it was just a question among all others. He nodded briefly, shifting slightly to ease his own restlessness.

"I'm sure you've noticed that the house isn't huge." Tifa crossed her arms and examined Leon, her expression unreadable. "Yuffie's room isn't big, but it shouldn't get too crowded with two people. If you and Cloud don't mind, you should share."

The way Tifa spoke left no room for refusal. It made Leon wonder just how much Tifa saw of what went on between Cloud and himself. Their situation was hard enough to understand from his point of view and it must've been extremely confusing for someone else, but for some reason, Tifa seemed to have formed her own opinion rather quickly. Deciding not to fill his head with more thoughts than he already had in stock, Leon simply repeated his nod.

Anxious to get away from the dark eyes that seemed to be able to drill through his skull and enter his thoughts, Leon moved towards the stairs. He halted at the foot of them, however, glancing over his shoulder, suddenly remembering his manners.

"Thank you for letting me stay."

This time it was Tifa's turn to reply with a short nod. Apparently they had reached an understanding of their own.

Tifa hadn't lied when she'd described Yuffie's room as small. Even if the girl had moved her things somewhere else, there wasn't much space to work with. When Leon entered, Cloud was sitting on the rather small bed, his Buster Sword resting against the wall in the corner. He looked up when Leon stepped in, but he said nothing, and Leon merely eyed the room before speaking, himself.

"We have to share a room."

Not that he minded. Cloud showed no signs of dismay, either. It offered Leon some relief, because he was utterly lost when it came to the complicated situation between Cloud and himself. If Cloud was prepared to share a room with him, however, it had to mean that everything wasn't completely lost.

The bed, Leon quickly noticed, was an issue. There was only one, and even if there had been another bed to use, there wouldn't have been any room for it. Even if Cloud was comfortable with the idea of sharing a room with Leon, he might not have been at ease with the thought of sharing a bed with him. The last time they had done so, it had resulted in multiple cuts and bruises wounds Leon hadn't knowingly wanted to inflict. The events of that night were still raw in his mind, and he suspected that they hadn't faded away from Cloud's memory, either. It would be better to put some distance between the two of them, if not for anything else, then to prevent that moment from  
repeating itself.

"I can sleep on the floor."

It was a quick offer from Leon and when Cloud's eyes focused on him, they held no understanding. It took a moment for the blonde to trace the gunblader's thoughts, but when understanding finally lit up in Cloud's gaze, he softly shook his head.

"There is no need."

It was the most simple of gestures, but when Cloud rested his hand on the bed, next to himself, and invited Leon to sit, the brunette knew that the foundation for something new had been laid out. Nothing had been said, not really, but the look in Cloud's clear blue eyes was enough to comfort Leon.

The situation might've been very unstable all over at the moment, but they seemed to have something to hang onto. At times like this, that was what counted.

* * *

In order to not destroy the fragile balance everyone seemed to find during the next day, Leon kept to himself for a while. He was full of questions, but he realised that some of them were too bold to be asked. A few, however, were of the kind that constantly bothered Leon. As days passed, he finally decided to speak his mind instead of asking himself the same questions over and over again - questions he didn't have any answers to.

Of Cloud's friends, only Yuffie and Tifa were familiar to Leon. Cid, on the other hand, he had never seen until they'd left the Colisseum and come here. Of all the people that lived in the rather small house, however, Cid was the one Leon felt most comfortable approaching. The man was a tad older than the rest, gruff and rough around the edges, but he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. That, and he had enormous amounts of knowledge stored up between his ears, collected from various places during the years. That was the reason Leon finally decided to talk to the blonde mechanic.

According to Yuffie, Cid knew a bit about everything, but most about machines of all kinds. He was the one who fixed things when they broke down, even if he did so while smoking an entire packet of cigarettes. Cid was kind, even if that wasn't the first impression a stranger got. So, comforted by this information, Leon approached the older blonde when he found him in the back yard, doing his best to put together a mountain of metal pieces.

"Cid?" A grunt was Leon's only answer, but he took it as an encouraging sound. Stepping closer, he crouched down next to the mechanic, examining the heap of machine parts in all different shapes and sizes. "What are you making?"

Cid tightened a bolt and tugged at it, making sure it held before leaning back slightly to admire his handiwork.

"A bike." He replied, his voice filled with determination. "An' what a beauty she'll be. 'M telling you, Leonheart. When she's done, ya won't believe she ever looked like this."

Leon eyed the pile of rusty parts that had probably belonged into machines of all kinds. He had no reason to doubt Cid's skills, but he was having a hard time imagining the parts in one, functioning object.

The way Cid cleared his throat and lit up a cigarette brought Leon's eyes back to the mechanic. Inhaling deeply, the blonde blew out a puff of smoke before speaking again, this time meeting Leon's gaze.

"But that's not what ya wanted to talk about, was it?"

Leon was surprised. He was aware of Tifa's accurate senses and Yuffie's way of prying into things that didn't belong to her in the first place, but this was something he hadn't expected. Cid had guessed that there was something he wanted to ask?

"Yer not the kind of a man who chats when it ain't necessary." Cid seemed to be reading his thoughts, but he was doing so in a friendly manner. He wasn't telling Leon to turn around and leave, even if his intentions had been so obvious. "So spill it. What's bothering ya?"

Leon wanted to say that it wasn't exactly a matter that bothered him, but he decided against explaining too much. And, to be honest, it had bothered him for a while now, the matter he wanted to discuss with Cid. Ever since he and Cloud had ended up in a vicious quarrel, to be precise.

"There are things I don't know." Leon said, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to seem too curious. "Things I think you might know."

Cid turned his eyes back to the metal constellation, picking up a piece and turning it in his hands. He nodded quietly, moving his cigarette to the other corner of his mouth, signaling for Leon to continue. Clearly, neither one of them were of the talkative kind, but Cid seemed to be ready to help him. That was enough for the gunblader.

"Mako." Straight to the point, like always. "What is it?"

Cid's brows knitted together, but he didn't stop his examination of the plate of steel.

"Mako." The word rolled off his tongue like poison. "It used to be a good thing, back in the days. Comes from the Lifestream, that stuff does." Cid dug forth a pen from his pocket, drawing lines onto the piece of metal, creating markings only he could understand. Even if the lines were neat, his hand was shaking with badly controlled anger. "But when ShinRa started using it, they made it into somethin' else. Fuckin' bastards."

ShinRa. That was a name Leon recognized. It was hard not to; the name was everywhere, because the company was quickly taking over the markets in just about everything. Listening carefully, his curiosity steadily growing, Leon chose to keep quiet, not wanting to interrupt Cid in any way.

"ShinRa used mako to create energy. Still do." Cid made a sound of dismay in the back of his throat, his expression darkening. "But then someone came up with the sick idea of putting it into people. Whoever thought of that is a goddamn idiot." Cid shook his head, clearly a tad agitated. Leon, knowing only what Cloud had told him, was slowly starting to put the pieces of information together.

"Mako might be good for yar machines, but it ain't good for yer body." Cid's tone was almost disgusted. "It changes a man. Yer not a human being if ya have too much of that stuff in yer system." Cid's eyes flashed into Leon's direction, his final words somewhat hushed. "It'll make ya a monster."

A monster. Not a human being, but something less. Someone who didn't deserve to walk in the light like other humans did. Leon had heard these words before, and slowly, he was starting to realise just what had molded Cloud into the man he was today. But there were still things he didn't know and information he lacked.

"Cloud has been exposed to mako, hasn't he?" The fighter had spoken of mako poisoning - a term Leon hadn't understood. Now he had a vague picture of just what had been injected into Cloud's body, and - even if he didn't want to admit it - the thought terrified him.

Cid put down the metal piece he was holding and turned towards Leon with a sigh.

"Yeah Poor kid." The blonde man shook his head, suddenly looking much more tired. "I dunno the details, but I do know that Cloud's been through whole lot. He's a tough one."

Leon hid his disappointment. He'd thought that Cid would know more about  
Cloud's past regarding the mako. He couldn't exactly complain, however, so  
the brunette simply pushed the matter aside to bring up another thing that  
had been on his mind.

"If you don't mind me asking about something else." Again, Cid merely grunted in return, but Leon had learned that it wasn't a negative thing. "Aerith mentioned someone. Someone named Zack." Leon paused, not really knowing how to continue. He knew that Zack had been Cloud's friend, and that Cloud blamed himself for his death, but that was all he knew. Clearly, Aerith had known Zack, as well, so perhaps Cid had, too.

The mechanic's response didn't require any further questions from Leon.

"Never met the kid." Cid sighed, his posture sagging slightly. "A shame, really. I dunno much 'bout him. If you wanna know more, ya'll have to ask Tifa or Aerith. Just know that we have Zack to thank for havin' Cloud with us."

No luck there. Leon would have to go to someone else for information. His options weren't very pleasant, however. For some reason, Leon didn't feel comfortable around Tifa, who seemed to see right through his shell and straight into his soul. Aerith was a whole different story, but Leon didn't feel at ease around her, either. Out of the two women, he would definitely choose Tifa once he gathered the courage to approach her with his questions.

"Thank you for telling me all this." Leon rose from his crouching position, hoping that he hadn't raised any suspicions with his thirst for information. He just wanted to know what Cloud's past withheld, and now he had the chance to find out. He was surrounded with people who were very close to Cloud, people who had been there for years. If they didn't know something, then no one did. "You've been a great help."

Cid just nodded, going back to his work.

"Anytime." As Leon headed back into the house, Cid's words followed him. "It's good to have ya around, Leonheart. An extra pair of hands is never a bad thing."


	14. You cannot follow

_Disclaimer__: The songs belong to Breaking Benjamin and it's called "Into the Nothing". And still, the boys belong to Square Enix.  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thank you. 3)  
__A/N (Anae):__ It's been far too long time since we've posted anything, so, we're sorry! And short chapter is short, but it's necessary! So, I guess sorry about that too.  
__We, err… post next chapter faster?  
__Anyways, hope you enjoy!  
__A/N [QttQ]:__ Alright, so we've brought you quite an amount of drama lately. We introduced you to Aerith and to some of the many questions that trouble Leon. Now it's time to return to our boys and what's going on between them, what their situation is. It's time to take you back to the very core of this fanfic; to the shadows and their importance.  
__Enjoy this chapter, guys! And thanks for reading this far!_

**Chapter XIV: You cannot follow**

_Where I lead you cannot follow  
Straight into the light_

For a good few days, Leon merely kept on eye on both Tifa and Aerith, trying to figure their trail of thinking. The gunblader had no desire to pry anything from the two women, least of all Cloud's past. So, he told himself, somewhat disappointed, that what Cid told him was good enough. That he didn't need to know more.

That decision lasted until one day he found Cloud looking outside from the window. Leon hadn't expected to find anyone inside - he had only come to return his gunblade to the room, day's practice already done.

It was one of those rare moments that the men had nothing to do in particular; it was one of the too rare breaks. More than that, it was one of the rarest days when no heartless' were seen near town. For once, you could go outside without fear of being attacked. Leon glanced outside as well - it truly was a beautiful day outside: warm sunrays were cast on the hollow town, painting it golden, and the darkness of the night wasn't yet to take away the light.

"You should go outside", he offered, placing his gunblade next to the wall. He didn't step any nearer to the blonde warrior - instead he stayed near the door.

Cloud didn't even turn to answer him. He only kept on looking the golden rays that painted the horizon. They didn't come inside the house though - the sun was shining from the opposite direction, leaving this side of the house untouched.

"You know I can't."

Leon didn't answer. He recognized a futile argument when he saw one - the issue of light was one.

So, without saying a word, Leon left the room and the house. As he closed the door, his fist hit the stone wall next to it.

The frustration Leon felt was overwhelming. He had dragged Cloud from the Colisseum, promising not to be his light but his shadow. Shadow that could shelter him from the light. He couldn't be Cloud's light so he had thought he could be his shadow.

Thought. That was the co-operative word.

The idea had sounded good at the time, but now… it sounded ridiculous, even to Leon's own ears. It wasn't even possible to become someone's shadow, was it. Besides, despite his promise and vow to himself, what had he managed to do this far?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

And besides dragging Cloud away from the dark, cold Colisseum, what good had he done?

Again, nothing.

Leon breathed out deeply, dark bangs hiding his face. Temptation to hit the wall again was great, but he resisted. Facts were facts. He still cared about Cloud, that was for sure. And he still wanted to help.

He wanted to pull Cloud out of that darkness that was wrapped around him. He wanted Cloud to understand that there was light within him.

More than anything, he wanted to see Cloud standing in the sun.

But to pull Cloud out of that darkness, he had to understand. He had to know the man's past. Aerith, Zack, Sephiroth.

And for that, he needed to ask either Aerith of Tifa.

Before the gunblader pondered the question for other moment, he glanced window on the second door. Leon couldn't see Cloud from this angle, but he knew the blonde was there. Because he thought that he didn't deserve to be touched by the light.

It ached, more than he was willing to admit.

Leon tore his gaze away, decision made.


	15. Note full of hope

_Disclaimer__: We think Square Enix should share the boys. With us. We wouldn't mind. But they don't. And the song is Depeche Mode – A pain that I'm used to.  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thank you, once again.)  
__A/N (Anae):__ Hello, Tifa. Nice meeting you again, and nice for you not to ask any opinions of how to act from your writer.  
__Thanks for sticking us this far, and hope you enjoy some Tifa and Leon interaction, because Leon has questions only Tifa might have the answers to!  
__A/N (QttQ)__: This time, we bring in Tifa. Leon still has some burning questions he needs to ask, and Tifa is the lucky girl who gets to answer. But, then again, not all questions should be asked.  
__We're actually going somewhere with all of this, trust me! A lot is going on and there are still many things that need to be clarified, but I hope you have the patience to stick with us and follow the story. Again, there will be more to come! C :_

**Chapter XV: Note full of hope**

_No mistaking the faking, I care  
With a prayer in the air I will leave it there  
On a note full of hope not despair_

It took a couple of days for Leon to gather the courage to approach the dark haired melee fighter. After having a talk with Cid, the gunblader had weighted his options more than once.

Aerith was a calming presence with the kindest heart and Leon, like everyone, valued her. But the brunette didn't spend his time around the woman, because it felt like she could see right through him. It was something Leon wasn't used to - in fact, he'd rather never get used to it - and, because of a ton of things, he rather was around someone else.

Tifa, on the other hand, was nothing like Aerith. Whereas Leon couldn't help but see Aerith as a flower that needed protection, he saw Tifa as a strong independent woman who knew how to take care of her home, friends and herself. Should there be a fight, Leon would count on Tifa to have his back - if it'd be necessary.

The reason to choose to question Tifa instead of Aerith wasn't only because Leon felt unease around the flower girl - he had come to notice that Tifa probably knew Cloud the best. According to Leon's understanding, she had been around him for a long time, ever since childhood.

Besides, it was Tifa who made the rules of the household. Not Aerith, nor someone else.

Still, when Leon made his way to the back of the house where Tifa made her daily exercises - according to Yuffie at least - his movements slowed little by little. Maybe he shouldn't interrupt her practice?

But even if his mind wondered and his legs slowed down, he didn't stop - not before he reached the area surrounded by different kind of buildings and variable surroundings, he stopped.

Tifa probably had heard the gunblader coming closer, but she kept on moving - doing different kicks on the air, using buildings as springboards - practically hitting, kicking, using whatever was on the area.

And she was skilled.

Leon had heard from others that she was a fighter to heart, but had never witnessed it. The warrior couldn't but admire the way and speed she moved, improvising every attack - let alone how she was aware of her surrounding all the time, using them as her targets.

Then, after jumping off the wall, doing somersault backwards on the air, landing on a kneeled position, stopping there, slightly panting, Leon knew that he had wasted his time to run away.

She stood up, her black hair floating in the wind and turned around. She eyed Leon, but before he could say a word, she talked. "It is too crumby?" Her tone was by no means hostile, she simply asked a question in a friendly manner. Leon, however, was caught by surprise, trying to figure what she meant. As Tifa noticed this, she rolled her eyes. "The room."

"We'll manage", Leon answered, mentally slapping himself. Of course Tifa had meant the room, what else? The bed? Yes, both were quite crumby, but they managed. Situation wasn't what it had been before that one faithful argument and everything that had followed, but slowly and surely they had started to get an idea how to be around each other.

Even if they weren't yet sure what they were to each other, they **were** at least walking towards something.

"Good", Tifa answered with a nod. She started to take off the leather gloves she wore - only when fighting. Despite the movement of her hands, woman's eyes were focused on the gunblader. "What is it?" she asked, somewhat concerned.

Leon shook his head a bit. Tifa was one of those women that cut straight to business - not that you needed much sense to figure he had something on his mind: coming to see Tifa outside the house - home, Leon reminded himself, home - even to go as far as interrupt her practice. The acts spoke louder than words - Leon had something private to ask Tifa.

"I have a couple of questions, if you don't mind."

Tifa's only answer was a look. Leon inhaled deeply, still unsure if this was something he should put his nose in. But then again, he wanted to know Cloud. The bad and the good sides - even though there seemed to be a lot more bad than good in his past. So Leon collected himself, meeting Tifa's questioning eyes.

"Who was Zack?"

Tifa was about take off another glove, but as the question was spoken, she turned her gaze aside and then her movements stopped. A moment of silence passed, only wind blowing around them, taking Tifa's long black hair as it's playmate. However, she didn't pay attention to it as her dark eyes focused to brunette gunblader. "Why? Why do you want to know?" she asked, eyes reflecting sorrow. "What difference does it make? He's dead."

Leon was a little taken aback by Tifa's attitude. If he had expected something, this wasn't it. But at least Tifa appeared to know Zack and what had happened. "Because I want to know Cloud", Leon simply answered, meeting the brown eyes with powerful gaze.

She sighed, resting her head in her hand, the one still holding the black leather glove. "Zack was Cloud's best friend", she started, apparently deciding that Leon's reasoning was good enough. "Hojo, the mad scientist, ran tests on them. I don't really know what, but that was when Cloud got mako poisoning."

The gunblader watched as Tifa paused, pulling other glove off. Even if he wasn't good at reading people, he found it fascinating to watch Tifa's reactions as she spoke. All that anger and hate bubbling beneath the concern and care. "Mako poisoning?" he questioned, urging Tifa to continue.

"Yeah", she shortly answered, eyes moving from hands to horizon, looking how sunset marked the world as it own, covering it with dark yellow and orange rays. "When you're suffering from mako poisoning, you're practically comatose and at the same time, you're not. From what I've understood, Cloud remembers something about that time, but not a lot. And that little is mainly foggy. Anyway, it's the reason his memory isn't all that clear."

Tifa didn't as much as glance Leon. Her beautiful dark eyes were on the horizon, not really seeing it. She was watching back in time - to what, Leon didn't know. "And Zack… Zack managed to escape, taking Cloud with him. He ended up dragging Cloud around half of the world." She paused. "Until the soldiers found them. Should've Zack left Cloud behind, he'd still be alive. But he didn't." Those dark brown eyes met blue-grey. "Zack died for Cloud."

She paused again. "You know the sword Cloud carries around?" Leon nodded, but he wasn't sure if Tifa even noted it. "It used to belong to Zack."

That Buster sword? It had belonged to this Zack, who had died for Cloud? It couldn't be easy, to live with such a reminder in your hands every day. But then again, knowing Cloud, he probably didn't think he deserved anything else. And maybe it was a way to honor Zack's memory, too.

"Is there something else you wanted to ask?" Tifa questioned, waking Leon up.

Leon pondered a while whether he should ask the question that had lingered in his mind ever since Cloud had thrown him on the wall. Maybe he shouldn't, but his curiosity got the better of him. Who knew, this was probably his one and only chance to ask these things from someone who knew. So, as Tifa turned, tucking her gloves to her pant pockets, Leon asked.

"Who is Sephiroth?"

The brunette could see how Tifa tensed. "Sephiroth was a nightmare." Then, to Leon's surprise, she whirled around. "Some things are better off as mere memories." She took a few steps closer, invading the older warrior's personal space with such ease, her blazing gaze making Leon stay put there and prepare himself. "And Sephiroth is one thing that should stay as one." She paused, mixture of grief, sorrow and hate flaring in those dark eyes. "So don't ever ask about him again. Not from us, but especially not from Cloud. Do you understand?"

"…Alright."

One second, she was there, on his personal space, claiming the part as her own, and on the next, she took two steps backwards, leaving Leon by himself. She brushed by the man, not saying a word, making her way towards their house - home.

"Leon."

He turned around, to see what she had to say.

A small, somewhat apologising smile. "Don't be late from the dinner. I'm sure Aerith and Yuffie have given their all."

Leon only nodded in return, and then he was left alone. His stormy gaze wandered to see the last rays of sun before the darkness of the night would once again take over. He stayed in place, but his mind - it wandered. It was not only in the answers he'd been given but also in the question Tifa had told him to back off.

Sephiroth.

That name alone was enough to make Leon shiver in the chilling evening. From what he had heard and found out, he was certain that he never wanted to meet this Sephiroth. And he never wanted Cloud to battle him again.

With these thoughts - more hopes than anything - he turned his back on the dying sun and walked away, his footsteps heavy.

And heavy those footsteps remained as Leon walked towards his new home, mind wandering from thing to another. Cloud, Zack, Sephiroth - he had gotten most of the missing pieces, even if there were still holes in the puzzle.

But Leon knew better than to dig more. He had learned that nothing good would come with too much prying - especially with Cloud.

So as the brunette merely took one step after another, not really paying attention to his surroundings, he all but ran into Cloud.

Leon took a few steps backwards, sure not to invade Cloud's personal space - not that he wasn't touchy of his own space after the episode with Tifa - and faced the blonde, silently asking if everything was okay.

They stayed silent for a while, neither really upset about other's presence but not letting their guards totally down either.

In the end, it was Cloud who chose to speak first. "I've been looking for you."

That caught Leon by surprise. Cloud had been looking for him? "Why?"

"I was going to practice", was the simple answer he got. Before Leon got to ask what he had to do with it, the warrior continued. "Thought you might want to join."

With that, Cloud brushed by the older man, walking past him. Leon's lips curved upwards. Sparring. It was an offering to make things the way they had been - or something close to that, at least - to try to correct the wrongs they had done in the past. Maybe this time they could find a better, less rocky path.

Cloud didn't need to turn to see Leon follow him. He knew better than that.

And that kept the smile on Leon's face as he followed the blonde. But he spared a glance to home - the others were more or less waiting them.

But then again, Tifa wouldn't kick their asses for being late for the meal.

…Or maybe she would.


	16. One way ticket

_Disclaimer__: Absolutely nothing belongs to us. The song is:_ _Eli Young Band - Uncertain  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thank you, once again.)  
__A/N (Anae):__ Finally, a chapter that's about boys and how they act around each other. They take their time, but you can't blame them, after all that's happened, it's not that easy to form a relationship of some sort.  
__(And Tifa. The more I write her, the more I'm starting to like her. Scary.)  
__And huge thankyous for anyone reading this! And thank you for your patience, since boys have to take it slow, and hope to see you in next chapter! :  
__A/N (QttQ)__: A chapter that takes Leon and Cloud back to the basics. You can laugh at me all you want, but I find the boys so very adorable like this. They can be excellent fighters and self-secure on the battle field all they want, but when it comes to understanding relationships, they're as clueless as ever.  
__So, we bring you the boys, back in square one. Enjoy!_

**Chapter XVI: One way ticket**

_He was so uncertain if he was making the right choice  
__He bought a one way ticket to a place he'd never been  
__He was so uncertain_

It was like starting from the beginning all over again. They were treading on thin ice and had to watch their every step, but as days went by, they grew more confident. To meet up on the battle ground again after so many conflicts was relaxing and familiar. It took both Cloud and Leon back to the first time they'd battled against one another, to the time when no bonds had been either built or broken, to the time when they'd been nothing but strangers. And yet, even if they were back in square one now, there was something already brewing beneath the surface.

It didn't bother Leon as much as it made him ponder. The situation was complicated and that was the understatement of the century. He didn't know what the relationship between Cloud and him was at this point, or if there even was a relationship to begin with. Aeris' presence was enough to keep Leon from bringing up the subject, and even if the serene woman hadn't been around, Tifa's watchful eye seemed to be following him everywhere. It just didn't seem appropriate to do anything that might shatter the balance that had slowly settled into the household, especially when even Cloud seemed to be calming down, as well.

The moments of heated battle were the things Leon escaped to. No one ever followed the fighters when they headed out for a good sparring, and both men seemed to need it as much. The weight of a weapon and the surge of adrenaline was what took their thoughts away from the rest of the world, and to Leon, that was the best part of the day.

It was no wonder that the gunblader felt so satisfied, panting roughly in the evening sun. He had just blocked a harsh blow of the Buster Sword and was staring into Cloud's eyes, his lips twisted into a determined little curve. Even if they had done this daily throughout the week, he never got tired of it.

"Is that all you've got? " Leon switched the gunblade into his left hand, wiping the sweat off his brow before he regained his stance. "I hope not." He aimed, fired and immediately leapt forward, knowing that Cloud would be there to counter the swing of his blade.

When a heavier blade and lighter blade met in the air, swallowing the space between the two fighters, the sound - a clash to normal person's ears, but a melody to warrior - made Leon feel alive. Seeing the vivid burn in those sky blue eyes, he could tell Cloud felt like that too.

On the first second, their blades were entwined, and on the next, Cloud pulled backwards, putting space between them, only to swing his sword again, making Leon drop on one knee to avoid the powerful attack. When another swing came, he dodged it,

and wasted no time attacking again.

That's how it went on. Attack, parry, dodge, retreat, attack again. The goal was simple: Form a pattern that the other can't keep up with.

They both were formidable, experienced warriors. But the uneven ground gave it's tricks and treats - usually to other's favour. And this time, after Cloud's slippery dodge it decided on Leon's favour, he wasted no time using this gift that had been given.

With a powerful shove and a well-placed slide, Leon gained the upper hand. Cloud's dodge turned into stumbling and when the gunblade forced the blonde further backwards, the man ended up on the ground. Victory belonged to Leon.

What he hadn't counted on was the lack of footwork the thrill could cause. The brunette had the time to feel like an utter fool until he lost his balance, the weight of his gunblade pulling him down. He managed to keep the weapon from clattering down too violently, ending up on all fours in the sand. And yet, even if such a situation usually would've made Leon stamp himself as a failure, the joy of his victory was far too strong right now. He'd brought Cloud down.

That joy didn't last for long. It was wiped away by the realization of just where he'd ended up. His concentration had been on the gunblade, which he'd managed to save from a rough meeting with the ground, but the process had gotten him a petite ten inches from Cloud. Leon could've counted his fair eyelashes.

The men stared each other for a good while. Without asking his opinion, Leon's mind wandered to those times they had ended up in this same position.

You couldn't count those times with just your fingers.

Before Leon's body betrayed him completely, he pushed himself up from the ground, collecting the gunblade as he rose up. His back was presented on Cloud and he was mentally cursing himself.

There was no way Cloud couldn't have noticed the all-too-familiar burn that had started to spread across his body.

It had been a passing moment, but it had been enough to throw Leon into a mindset that wasn't proper for this situation. Not here, not now. Not when things were still uncertain. Not when Cloud was only beginning to settle down. Leon owed him some peace.

He hoisted his gunblade onto his shoulder; a clear signal of that this battle was over. Leon needed to get away from Cloud. The moment of closeness was too fresh in his memory, the look of surprise in Cloud's eyes too strongly painted into his mind.

"I have something to do." It was the worst excuse and Leon congratulated himself for the worst choice of words. Why couldn't he have come up with something actually believable? "I'll see you later."

Not even a look back. He couldn't afford a single glance, because he feared he wouldn't be able to walk away. With every step, Leon's regret grew, but his determination was strong enough to keep him going.

Leon had no clear destination when he walked away from Cloud. His legs took him where ever they wanted to go and Leon's mind allowed them to do the work. He was too busy organizing his scrambled thoughts to care where he ended up.

Fear had lifted its head now that Leon was alone. What if he had done a grand mistake? It was awkward enough to share a room – and a bed – with Cloud when intimacy was but a huge, silent question mark between the two of them. If this made everything that much more complicated, if that one moment of accidental closeness forced the men to take yet another step away from one another, then things could turn tough. It wasn't that Leon wouldn't be able to do such a thing; he simply didn't know whether he wanted to.

Cloud was a mystery, even after all the answers Leon had gotten after their arrival. Cloud's intentions were unclear. He didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave now that Tifa and the rest had welcomed him back, but Leon had learned that restlessness was always present within Cloud. Not only did this make a knot hard enough to open, but Leon also had to find his own place in the picture. And that, especially after what had just happened, was the tricky part.

Leon couldn't deny his attraction to Cloud. Now, however, he was beginning to understand that physical interest was only one side of the coin he and Cloud were tossing back and forth. No matter how hard it was to admit, Leon had become attached to Cloud. All in all, he cared.

None of it mattered, however. Cloud had the right to personal space, especially now that Aerith had appeared out of nowhere. Leon still didn't know what the relationship between her and Cloud had once been, but her existence alone was enough to give Cloud a lot to think about. And then there was Zack – a name Leon kept hearing, yet a man he'd never get to know fully.

A frustrated sigh escaped the gunblader and he halted in his steps. He was in the middle of town, having aimlessly paced the streets back and forth. This was ridiculous. Cloud was driving him up the walls by just being there. Leon couldn't avoid the blonde for all eternity, no matter how awkward it might've been. He had to return.

The sun was long gone, evening having turned into night. Leon didn't bother to check their battle ground, knowing that Cloud would already be back at the house. Tifa was very precise with him, after all, watching over him like a protective mother. And that, no matter how amusing, Leon was grateful for.

What he didn't expect was Tifa standing at the front door when he finally approached the house, still carrying his weapon on his shoulder. Never having been a man of many words, Leon merely nodded as he closed in, pausing at the door step, waiting to be allowed in.

Tifa, leaning on door frame, eyed Leon from head to toes and back - making the gunblader feel rather uncomfortable. Then she let out a deep sigh. "I know Cloud needs a curfew, but do you need one too?"

Tifa's question came out of nowhere, catching Leon totally off guard. As he tried to think of an answer, the dark-haired woman only shook her head somewhat amusedly, pushing the door open.

Leon followed her to the quiet house, and was surprised when she disappeared into kitchen, only to come back with a plate. "We thought you might want to eat something", she merely offered.

Tifa managed to surprise him with her hospitality every single time. She had never been rude, but Leon wasn't sure what she thought of him. He was someone who'd spent time with Cloud when noneof his friends had been there. That alone could've been a reason to make her dislike him at least a little.

And yet, here she was, offering him a full meal and clearly having waited for him to show up. Everyone else seemed to be in bed, already, judging by the silence that ruled in the calm house. She had stayed up to make sure Leon would return.

"I appreciate this." Leon stated quietly, accepting the plate. He gave the woman a long look – a look that didn't need any words to accompany it. Tifa had a good head on her shoulders; she seemed to understand Leon almost as well as Cloud did.

Tifa shook her head again, probably noting once again how much Leon reminded Cloud - and still how different the two were. "You're welcome", she answered to an unspoken thank you.

She waited for a while before speaking again. "Cloud's already upstairs", she told him, giving a look. "My guess is that he's standing by the window." Then she gave him a small, somewhat sorrowful smile and turned her back on Leon, heading towards the stairs. "Put the dishes on the sink when you're finished. I'll see to it in the morning." Giving him a final look above her shoulder, she wished goodnight and headed upstairs.

It left Leon staring his half-finished meal for a while. Clearly, Tifa was aware that something had happened between the two warriors - how much she could count, Leon didn't know.

Deciding not to dwell on it any further, Leon simply finished his meal and did as Tifa had told him to do – left the dishes in the sink. Once he was done, he felt at least a little more certain about facing Cloud. If Tifa was right, the blonde would still be awake. Of course, one could never be certain that she was correct, but Leon had a feeling her suspicions matched the truth. It would be impossible to just sneak in without Cloud noticing.

The stairs seemed to be louder beneath Leon's steps than usual. He was sure that Cloud heard him long before he even reached the second floor. He halted for a moment when he reached the door, but – knowing that he would soon lose the courage he had gathered – pushed it open without a second thought.

The blonde was - as Tifa had correctly guessed - standing by the window, staring into to the dead of night. Leon pushed the door behind him closed as silently as possible. A moment passed as Leon gathered his courage again, but still he wasn't sure what to say. That he was sorry? Because that he was, but in the end, he had never been good at apologising.

Leon managed to take a couple of steps closer before Cloud turned to face him, expression as unreadable as ever, if not the slight glint of his eyes, reflected by light of the rising moon.

"I can sleep on the floor."

So the moment hadn't gone unnoticed by Cloud, either. The blonde's reaction wasn't positive at all, in Leon's opinion. Perhaps Cloud had found the few seconds of closeness uncomfortable? Disgusting, even?

No. Leon knew Cloud better than that.

"You won't." It wasn't a suggestion, but neither was it an order. It was just a way of signaling that this matter didn't need to be discussed. Leon's eyes flashed with the smallest hint of something that might've been called affection. "There's no need."

There were no words offered as an answer, but the slight relaxation on the tense shoulders didn't go unnoticed by Leon. So as Cloud moved sit on the bed, clear blue eyes asking the gunblader to follow, he did.

Leon had feared that sharing a bed would become an uncomfortable thing since the earlier incident. However, as the men settled down and prepared for sleep, Leon felt no discomfort whatsoever. He might've been a tad more aware of Cloud's wrist brushing against his back, a bit more alert about the familiar scent he caught a whiff of every time Cloud moved, but that was all. Judging by the way Cloud fell asleep in record time, his breathing growing slow and heavy next to Leon, the blonde wasn't finding the situation unpleasant, either.

They both slept better than they had in a long time.


	17. Savor this moment

_Disclaimer__: We own nothing. The song is from Disturbed and called "This moment".__  
__Beta__: Azrax (Thank you, once again.)  
__A/N (Anae):__ Okay, first of all, WE'RE SORRY. REALLY SORRY. Real life has kept us busy, at the moment I'm literally countries away from QttQ. But better late than never, right? We have some chapters written already, and now we're kicking ourselves back to writing this again. We've come this far, we ain't giving up now! Dear reader, I hope you didn't give up on us and our story despite the long silence. Hope you enjoy, we promise to publish next chapter soon!__  
__A/N (QttQ)__: It's been a while! Okay, who am I kidding, it's nearly been a year! I'm so sorry, I can't believe time went by this fast. ;A; A word of consolation, however - we haven't abandoned the story! We do, in fact, have some chapters written and ready to be shared with you, and we're currently working our way back into the storyline and producing even more chapters that will (probably) lead to an ending of some sort._  
_Anyway, this chapter is short and sweet, so it's very unlike us in all ways! I have no idea which one of us wrote it, because it's approximately one year old, but that doesn't matter! Enjoy it anyway!_

* * *

**Chapter XVII: Savor this moment**

_I hope you savor this moment  
__as you're still on your feet  
__So keep it quiet now,  
__I think you're gonna like it_

* * *

The weapon was deceivingly light in his hands. One swing, one perfect aim, one pull of the trigger, and he could do great damage to whoever he wanted. Many men had fallen prey to the dangerous fascination such a lethal object carried. To watch someone die, to see the light fade in their eyes before it disappeared fully, to witness their last breath while knowing it was you who had taken it away - it could become an obsession.

But this battle wasn't for killing and these moves weren't meant to destroy life. No, this wasn't a game of survival, not when both participants knew where to draw the line of humanity. The men who circled each other on the sandy ground, eyes locked in gazes of determination, were fully aware of the power they wielded and the time to use it. Now wasn't the time. They weren't battling, they were _playing_.

For Leon and Cloud, their daily moments of sparring were just a big game. For these men, it was _fun_.

Cloud rushed towards him with great speed, swinging his sword in a low arch. It was one of his standard moves and something Leon had expected, but that didn't mean the move was easy to dodge. The Buster Sword had a huge range when compared to Leon's gunblade, which also meant Leon had to do most of the moving. Fighting with Cloud was a whole lot like dancing; dancing with a very powerful, dangerous metal partner.

With a quick leap back and a block that made his shoulders complain, Leon managed to counter the blonde's strike. The sound of two blades meeting in mid-air was their music, the quiet sound of their well-planned steps their rhythm. One-two-three-slash, one-two-three-dodge, one-two-three-slide. They'd both danced enough to know that this was a familiar jive, not a new beat.

Maybe that's why they turned careless. They were both taking it too easy, letting their minds rest while their bodies did the work. When you trust yourself too much and act without thinking, you tend to forget some important details. And that is when accidents happen.

It was an accident - it had to be - when Cloud miscalculated his steps and lost his balance. The Buster Sword was a difficult weapon to master because of its weight. One step taken wrong, one move that put you out of sync and the blade could drag you down. That was exactly what happened.

Leon had just managed to put Cloud on the defensive, having gotten far too close to him to allow any room for the Buster Sword to move. The gunblader was offering quick, threatening slashes that made Cloud take one step back at a time, unable to block and having no other choice but to evade. When he suddenly stepped a tad too far and - with the help of the Buster Sword's heavy shaft - fell backwards roughly, Leon had no time to react. In the blink of an eye, he was upon Cloud and in the next, he'd tripped over the fallen soldier and was going down, blade and all.

The first thing Leon registered was his gunblade, several inches deep in the ground, only a breath away from Cloud's head. A few golden strands of hair had been cut off by the incredibly sharp edge, but that was the only damage that had been done, apart from scratched knees and two bruised egos.

The second thing Leon realised was the position the were in; the very same situation he'd found himself in only a few days ago.

And like just like those days ago, his body sang, betraying him.

Inside his mind, Leon cursed. The things between them - their relationship, whatever it was - were still unsettled. Neither man was into deep conversations, they preferred no words at all - everyone knew that.

Yet, every now and then, Leon longed for personality that was able to talk it all through. He didn't have it, Cloud didn't have it, the end of the story.

So, just like last time, Leon pushed himself up, determined to leave, maybe once and for all this time.

Since he couldn't keep himself in check, it seemed.

His plans, however, were ruined as a strong hand pulled him back by arm. A truly surprised look was to be read in usually so stoic face as soft lips touched his, pleading for entrance.

Really, who was Leon to disagree? Without thinking, he opened his mouth, kissing back slowly, memorizing how it felt again.

When their lips parted, Leon found himself staring at two blue orbs. He could read emotions from them - wonder, curiosity, passion bubbling somewhere beneath, but there was no hesitance.

None at all.

And he noticed how those lips curved upwards just a bit before he was pulled into another kiss.

Sometimes Leon wondered how and when had he had let the control slip to Cloud - not that Cloud hadn't always had part of it, even if he was the physical bottom - but in which point the man beneath him had come to hold all the keys?

But that, Leon decided as his hand came to reset on top of that strong heart, was okay.

Yes, it was very much alright.


End file.
